It is a fairly obvious problem, and what’s more it’s already been brought up, so maybe people have noticed it and just decided the game is worth the candle? For myself, I figure I’m really not capable of feeling neutral toward people for any length of time, and the almost complete lack of any positive social interaction on LW, combined with the continual arguing, had left me feeling sort of annoyed and uncomfortable toward the average LWer. I’m not looking to join any kind of e-clique, just trying to shift the balance back the other way a bit.
the almost complete lack of any positive social interaction on LW, combined with the continual arguing
Funny, I see that as the defining feature of LW, and as its principal advantage over other places. You get to see the distilled essence of concrete things that people have to say on a given topic, unobscured with distractions that would otherwise inevitably follow. (Don’t get me wrong, in real life I’m much more personable and merry than I choose to be here, but outside of strictly technical discussions, this has an inevitable large cost when it comes to the precision and rigor of discourse.)
had left me feeling sort of annoyed and uncomfortable toward the average LWer
Are you sure it wouldn’t be much worse with people trying to be “friends”? As they say, familiarity breeds contempt.
Hypothesis: People who IRL are relatively well-connected socially (but feel obliged to conceal many of their views from their meatspace associates) and people who actually feel socially isolated or alienated IRL will have divergent views about the optimal level of familiarity in this online community.
For what its worth, I think abrasiveness breeds more contempt than does familiarity.
Hypothesis: People who IRL are relatively well-connected socially (but feel obliged to conceal many of their views from their meatspace associates) and people who actually feel socially isolated or alienated IRL will have divergent views about the optimal level of familiarity in this online community.
Probably true, but if one suffers from social isolation and alienation in meatspace, trying to remedy that situation by seeking internet friends in a place like this one would likely be a highly suboptimal (to put it charitably) way of addressing that problem.
For what its worth, I think abrasiveness breeds more contempt than does familiarity.
It might conceivably breed more ill feelings in general, but not contempt in particular.
I agree that abrasiveness is better avoided too, though.
Agreed, though I also think “abrasive” and “familiar” are terms that only make sense relative to some specific notion of what the unmarked baseline is. Personally I find very most of the discussion on LW neither of these things.
Although, I have instead come to the realization that I should stop trying to change LW to suit my needs, because most the people on here like it as is. The fact that, like you, it makes me “annoyed and uncomfortable” is my own problem, and it is unfair of me to try to force my social preferences on others. It makes more sense to instead find a community that already matches those preferences.
The fact that, like you, it makes me “annoyed and uncomfortable” is my own problem, and it is unfair of me to try to force my social preferences on others. It makes more sense to instead find a community that already matches those preferences.
Honestly, I’d much rather you stay and help us fix it.
the almost complete lack of any positive social interaction on LW, combined with the continual arguing, had left me feeling sort of annoyed and uncomfortable toward the average LWer.
I note that arguing can be a positive social interaction (although it often isn’t, granted).
I strongly agree with this, and I am seriously disappointed that more people don’t see it as an obvious problem.
It is a fairly obvious problem, and what’s more it’s already been brought up, so maybe people have noticed it and just decided the game is worth the candle? For myself, I figure I’m really not capable of feeling neutral toward people for any length of time, and the almost complete lack of any positive social interaction on LW, combined with the continual arguing, had left me feeling sort of annoyed and uncomfortable toward the average LWer. I’m not looking to join any kind of e-clique, just trying to shift the balance back the other way a bit.
Funny, I see that as the defining feature of LW, and as its principal advantage over other places. You get to see the distilled essence of concrete things that people have to say on a given topic, unobscured with distractions that would otherwise inevitably follow. (Don’t get me wrong, in real life I’m much more personable and merry than I choose to be here, but outside of strictly technical discussions, this has an inevitable large cost when it comes to the precision and rigor of discourse.)
Are you sure it wouldn’t be much worse with people trying to be “friends”? As they say, familiarity breeds contempt.
Hypothesis: People who IRL are relatively well-connected socially (but feel obliged to conceal many of their views from their meatspace associates) and people who actually feel socially isolated or alienated IRL will have divergent views about the optimal level of familiarity in this online community.
For what its worth, I think abrasiveness breeds more contempt than does familiarity.
Probably true, but if one suffers from social isolation and alienation in meatspace, trying to remedy that situation by seeking internet friends in a place like this one would likely be a highly suboptimal (to put it charitably) way of addressing that problem.
It might conceivably breed more ill feelings in general, but not contempt in particular.
I agree that abrasiveness is better avoided too, though.
Agreed, though I also think “abrasive” and “familiar” are terms that only make sense relative to some specific notion of what the unmarked baseline is. Personally I find very most of the discussion on LW neither of these things.
Upvoted, and completely agree.
Although, I have instead come to the realization that I should stop trying to change LW to suit my needs, because most the people on here like it as is. The fact that, like you, it makes me “annoyed and uncomfortable” is my own problem, and it is unfair of me to try to force my social preferences on others. It makes more sense to instead find a community that already matches those preferences.
Honestly, I’d much rather you stay and help us fix it.
I note that arguing can be a positive social interaction (although it often isn’t, granted).