I have a tangential comment that doesn’t really fit into either subthread,
There actually is a meta-comment thread going right now that is discussing the issue of professor friendliness. This would have fit great there!
I think you made a bit of a jump there from my statement that I like to know my professors as people, to some sort of assumption that this includes taking their advice in all things, and being part of an “inner circle”. In fact, my OP primarily talks about how professors behave in class towards all their students. (with the exception of the mention a group dinner, but that was not the norm). Mainly if I am asking a professor for advice it would be for resources/books for a project. I don’t know how you get from that to:
these kinds of contacts in your life can be dangerous,
I didn’t say that you committed any mistakes of the sort I was describing. I merely pointed out that this is a common failure mode for those who establish some sort of relationship with higher-status people that goes beyond purely formal professional interaction, but falls short of achieving real insider/intimate status. I used the second-person pronoun only in the generic sense, as a less awkward replacement for third-person sentences using “one.”
I also didn’t say that this needs to involve any special status relative to the rest of the class. The same effect I described above can kick in even if it’s just a professor interacting with the whole class in a way that comes off as friendly and informal.
For all I know, your instincts may be very well calibrated when it comes to situations of this sort, and none of my statements are directed at you in particular. (Except for this disclaimer, obviously.) I am merely pointing out a general pattern in human relations, and one that is relevant in this context because it is often manifested in situations where relations between people become more personal than what the interaction strictly requires, but still fall short of real closeness and mutual recognition of insider status.
There actually is a meta-comment thread going right now that is discussing the issue of professor friendliness. This would have fit great there!
I think you made a bit of a jump there from my statement that I like to know my professors as people, to some sort of assumption that this includes taking their advice in all things, and being part of an “inner circle”. In fact, my OP primarily talks about how professors behave in class towards all their students. (with the exception of the mention a group dinner, but that was not the norm). Mainly if I am asking a professor for advice it would be for resources/books for a project. I don’t know how you get from that to:
I didn’t say that you committed any mistakes of the sort I was describing. I merely pointed out that this is a common failure mode for those who establish some sort of relationship with higher-status people that goes beyond purely formal professional interaction, but falls short of achieving real insider/intimate status. I used the second-person pronoun only in the generic sense, as a less awkward replacement for third-person sentences using “one.”
I also didn’t say that this needs to involve any special status relative to the rest of the class. The same effect I described above can kick in even if it’s just a professor interacting with the whole class in a way that comes off as friendly and informal.
For all I know, your instincts may be very well calibrated when it comes to situations of this sort, and none of my statements are directed at you in particular. (Except for this disclaimer, obviously.) I am merely pointing out a general pattern in human relations, and one that is relevant in this context because it is often manifested in situations where relations between people become more personal than what the interaction strictly requires, but still fall short of real closeness and mutual recognition of insider status.