What I’m saying is, do you think that there’s no ongoing deep hidden deception (or, situation that would call forth deception) in you or your spouse? I this seems possible to me, it’s just that empirically it’s very rare. I’m wondering if your vows are proofed against this possibility. Maybe you don’t think the probability is high enough to worry about; maybe you think the vow ought to be nullified / broken if there is such deception; maybe by
If for any reason I break my vow, I will act to repair the error as fast as reasonably possible.
you mean to say, yes it was a breach to make this vow given that there was hidden deception, and you’ll repair it. Maybe this is how vows are supposed to work—making them, knowing that there’s a good chance they’ll be partly broken, and then working to uphold them with the understanding that the good faith clause will keep the agreement intact—rather than trying to explicitly say what (/whether) there’s circumstances in which the agreement is definitively not intact. IDK. I guess my worry is that hidden deceptions (that is, a deception that you’re doing but aren’t aware of, i.e. don’t have clear access to with most of your mind) will adaptively keep themselves hidden if there’s no clear recourse for keeping the agreement intact (including an amicable separation) when they become revealed.
We do have margin for minor violations of the vows, as long as they are not “unconscionable”. Granted, we don’t have a precise definition of “unconscionable”, but certainly if both of us agree that a violation is not unconscionable then it isn’t.
What I’m saying is, do you think that there’s no ongoing deep hidden deception (or, situation that would call forth deception) in you or your spouse? I this seems possible to me, it’s just that empirically it’s very rare. I’m wondering if your vows are proofed against this possibility. Maybe you don’t think the probability is high enough to worry about; maybe you think the vow ought to be nullified / broken if there is such deception; maybe by
you mean to say, yes it was a breach to make this vow given that there was hidden deception, and you’ll repair it. Maybe this is how vows are supposed to work—making them, knowing that there’s a good chance they’ll be partly broken, and then working to uphold them with the understanding that the good faith clause will keep the agreement intact—rather than trying to explicitly say what (/whether) there’s circumstances in which the agreement is definitively not intact. IDK. I guess my worry is that hidden deceptions (that is, a deception that you’re doing but aren’t aware of, i.e. don’t have clear access to with most of your mind) will adaptively keep themselves hidden if there’s no clear recourse for keeping the agreement intact (including an amicable separation) when they become revealed.
We do have margin for minor violations of the vows, as long as they are not “unconscionable”. Granted, we don’t have a precise definition of “unconscionable”, but certainly if both of us agree that a violation is not unconscionable then it isn’t.