I agree with this. It’s closely related to the saying “Promoting less than maximally accurate beliefs is an act of sabotage. Don’t do it to anyone unless you’d also slash their tires.”, which I’ve always interpreted to be about much more than just lying.
My main objection to NTLs is that they seem to be generated when a person is trying to convince themselves that they’re not the type of person who lies, even though they are (where misleading == lying). If you want to be the type of person who never misleads people, you can’t NTL. If you think you’re that type of person, but you also think that NTLs are okay in some situations, you’re going to run into trouble, because those things conflict pretty strongly, and you’re likely to wind up misleading yourself in an attempt to avoid acknowledging the situation.
I’ve taken the third option, personally—I fully admit that I believe there are some times when misleading someone is appropriate, and that’s worked well for me. The natural complications involved in lying are enough to make me avoid it even in most situations where it would be potentially useful, and I haven’t noticed any problems in remembering the truth about the situations I have lied about.
I agree with this. It’s closely related to the saying “Promoting less than maximally accurate beliefs is an act of sabotage. Don’t do it to anyone unless you’d also slash their tires.”, which I’ve always interpreted to be about much more than just lying.
My main objection to NTLs is that they seem to be generated when a person is trying to convince themselves that they’re not the type of person who lies, even though they are (where misleading == lying). If you want to be the type of person who never misleads people, you can’t NTL. If you think you’re that type of person, but you also think that NTLs are okay in some situations, you’re going to run into trouble, because those things conflict pretty strongly, and you’re likely to wind up misleading yourself in an attempt to avoid acknowledging the situation.
I’ve taken the third option, personally—I fully admit that I believe there are some times when misleading someone is appropriate, and that’s worked well for me. The natural complications involved in lying are enough to make me avoid it even in most situations where it would be potentially useful, and I haven’t noticed any problems in remembering the truth about the situations I have lied about.
Agree, and also note that if slashing someone’s tires would significantly reduce the trauma of a painful experience then I may just do that for them.