I have had a similar experience to yours, especially with Example 1. Often, that appears as either “why aren’t you more upset/don’t you even care?” or “why are you being so formal?”, which reads to me as an attack for the benefit of an audience that may or may not be actually be present, rather than engaging with the actual conversation.
Which, to be fair, the actual conversation might not be that important, and they truly are looking for the implicit/emotional reaction, which demonstrates investment on (y)our part.
Example 2 is a classic example of mistaking kindness for weakness, assuming you can back up your criticism with boundary-setting or other consequences.
I have had a similar experience to yours, especially with Example 1. Often, that appears as either “why aren’t you more upset/don’t you even care?” or “why are you being so formal?”, which reads to me as an attack for the benefit of an audience that may or may not be actually be present, rather than engaging with the actual conversation.
Which, to be fair, the actual conversation might not be that important, and they truly are looking for the implicit/emotional reaction, which demonstrates investment on (y)our part.
Example 2 is a classic example of mistaking kindness for weakness, assuming you can back up your criticism with boundary-setting or other consequences.