There seems to be an assumtion that once a relationship has had its active go and there are further relationships that previous partner can’t be chosen as the one married. It seems the possibility of getting back to your ex is a option that should be covered. That is after X trials you can retry any sampled so far althought they might not be open to the idea anymore. Is there any additional reason to treat rejection as instantly permanent?
This is entirely true. On a basic level; the assumption that humans will nearly always be in relationships (and often exclusive ones); will lead one to conclude that the opportunity will potentially be gone. I wouldn’t be relying on that option coming up; but it is definitely a thing that can happen.
On two levels:
You broke up for a reason, that will always be there (unless it changes—as in 2)
I have one anec-data of a guy who is now in his 60s; and reconnected with his first ex-wife, to find they very much like each other; and age has matured the both of them. They now enjoy each other’s company in an entirely different way to before. (of course this is looking at relationships from a companionship level not a children producing and biological level)
I tried to simplify and skip points like this but this is a notable point. I did mention poly briefly, but knowing how badly it can mess with the basic assumptions means it would need its own post to cover it.
If the reason why you are breaking up is that you want to try to find better candidates the breakup is not that good evidence that the match is bad. While finding the match bad will lead to a breakup, having a breakup doesn’t neccesarily mean that the match is bad.
The situation you are describing is more like 2 (in my response above) in that the reason you broke up (to look for other good matches) is no longer there.
Was there a particular wording of the original post that you would suggest I change or add to clarify this point? (all my posts are open to improvement)
There seems to be an assumtion that once a relationship has had its active go and there are further relationships that previous partner can’t be chosen as the one married. It seems the possibility of getting back to your ex is a option that should be covered. That is after X trials you can retry any sampled so far althought they might not be open to the idea anymore. Is there any additional reason to treat rejection as instantly permanent?
This is entirely true. On a basic level; the assumption that humans will nearly always be in relationships (and often exclusive ones); will lead one to conclude that the opportunity will potentially be gone. I wouldn’t be relying on that option coming up; but it is definitely a thing that can happen.
On two levels:
You broke up for a reason, that will always be there (unless it changes—as in 2)
I have one anec-data of a guy who is now in his 60s; and reconnected with his first ex-wife, to find they very much like each other; and age has matured the both of them. They now enjoy each other’s company in an entirely different way to before. (of course this is looking at relationships from a companionship level not a children producing and biological level)
I tried to simplify and skip points like this but this is a notable point. I did mention poly briefly, but knowing how badly it can mess with the basic assumptions means it would need its own post to cover it.
If the reason why you are breaking up is that you want to try to find better candidates the breakup is not that good evidence that the match is bad. While finding the match bad will lead to a breakup, having a breakup doesn’t neccesarily mean that the match is bad.
I agree with what you are saying—absolutely!
The situation you are describing is more like 2 (in my response above) in that the reason you broke up (to look for other good matches) is no longer there.
Was there a particular wording of the original post that you would suggest I change or add to clarify this point? (all my posts are open to improvement)