I had to push through something similar in July. What finally broke my dam of pent-up work was one sudden realization regarding an incident I’ve long suspected was behind my procrastination:
The very first time I procrastinated hard, and lost something because of it, was the first time my parents said they’d take away something if my homework wasn’t complete. I panicked and was in tears for two hours, pleading, but they were steadfast in their abandonment of me to my dark fate. I asked my mom to watch me do the first problem on the worksheet, just the first problem; “to prove I can do this” my mind screamed, not realizing that my mind itself was that entity to which I wanted to prove it. She refused. I didn’t get to watch that night’s episode of my favorite TV show.
Here’s the realization: that was the first time my mother had treated me transactionally instead of personally.
That’s it. That’s the big realization that allowed me to start working really hard again. I don’t know if it’ll help you, or anyone else reading this, but that unexpected switch of mode was the secret abandonment behind the yawning pit of “why am I not working right now?” behaviors.
The COVID Procrastathon claims another good mind.
I had to push through something similar in July. What finally broke my dam of pent-up work was one sudden realization regarding an incident I’ve long suspected was behind my procrastination:
The very first time I procrastinated hard, and lost something because of it, was the first time my parents said they’d take away something if my homework wasn’t complete. I panicked and was in tears for two hours, pleading, but they were steadfast in their abandonment of me to my dark fate. I asked my mom to watch me do the first problem on the worksheet, just the first problem; “to prove I can do this” my mind screamed, not realizing that my mind itself was that entity to which I wanted to prove it. She refused. I didn’t get to watch that night’s episode of my favorite TV show.
Here’s the realization: that was the first time my mother had treated me transactionally instead of personally.
That’s it. That’s the big realization that allowed me to start working really hard again. I don’t know if it’ll help you, or anyone else reading this, but that unexpected switch of mode was the secret abandonment behind the yawning pit of “why am I not working right now?” behaviors.