You’re story sounds somewhat similar to mine (but I’m considerably older than you). My mother had Multiple Sklerosis, too; I was her main caretaker until her death. It’s strange that it didn’t dawn on me how much my upbringing and my mother’s illness has shaped my father’s and my life—and furthermore I didn’t really understand until recently how unusually withdrawn my life has been so far. Now, social isolation is a well-known danger when you’re severely ill but I was (at least on a physical level) healthy and still I wasn’t able to break out of the habits that I (to a certain degree) adopted because of my former circumstances and a general inclination towards shyness.
I have a very unoriginal proposition for you: Act as soon as possible and change your situation! Believe me, things don’t get easier once you’re ten years older than you are now. What about a “trial move”? The way you describe your parents I think you could always return if for one reason or another you can’t cope with being “on your own”.
I’m “in the process” (as vaguely as that may sound) to finally get my act together and make some serious, so-long-overdue-you-won’t-believe-it life changes. I know some of the depressive symptoms you’re describing: A general world-weariness, an enmity to my own body, avoidance of “boring” errands up to a point where it got seriously damaging, seeing no sense in dragging this carcass of mine through a pointless world etc pp. But somehow things begin to click for me a bit more. If it’s “meant to be” that I’m going down, then at least I’m putting up a fight (i.e. trying to beat some amount of rationality into my skull which is thick with irrational believes and blocks)!
Then your mom is lucky in more than one regard! Because of medical progress it is very different to be diagnosed with MS today than it was in 1973, when my mother had her first MS episode at the age of 27.
You wrote earlier that a lot of what you don’t like about your life is simply due to habits. Personally, I find the key to change is to persistently chip away at my mountain of bad habits (my main nemesis is procrastination) and to think more from day to day, to try to implement some (any!) positive difference in my life at a daily basis, and be it only to show a friendly face when you’re not really feeling like it, or to do that one more household chore you try to avoid, or to confront another uncomfortable truth about yourself and verbalize it to (well-chosen!) friends and acquaintances.
I know, these strategies are so basic they almost don’t qualify for Self-Help 101 but once you “really want to change” I found they work quite well.
You wrote earlier that a lot of what you don’t like about your life is simply due to habits.
Actually, what I said was that a lot of the activities I do (video games, blog commenting) are generally done because they’re what I’ve gotten used to spending time doing, not that the habits themselves are necessarily causing the problem.
Hello CronoDAS,
You’re story sounds somewhat similar to mine (but I’m considerably older than you). My mother had Multiple Sklerosis, too; I was her main caretaker until her death. It’s strange that it didn’t dawn on me how much my upbringing and my mother’s illness has shaped my father’s and my life—and furthermore I didn’t really understand until recently how unusually withdrawn my life has been so far. Now, social isolation is a well-known danger when you’re severely ill but I was (at least on a physical level) healthy and still I wasn’t able to break out of the habits that I (to a certain degree) adopted because of my former circumstances and a general inclination towards shyness.
I have a very unoriginal proposition for you: Act as soon as possible and change your situation! Believe me, things don’t get easier once you’re ten years older than you are now. What about a “trial move”? The way you describe your parents I think you could always return if for one reason or another you can’t cope with being “on your own”.
I’m “in the process” (as vaguely as that may sound) to finally get my act together and make some serious, so-long-overdue-you-won’t-believe-it life changes. I know some of the depressive symptoms you’re describing: A general world-weariness, an enmity to my own body, avoidance of “boring” errands up to a point where it got seriously damaging, seeing no sense in dragging this carcass of mine through a pointless world etc pp. But somehow things begin to click for me a bit more. If it’s “meant to be” that I’m going down, then at least I’m putting up a fight (i.e. trying to beat some amount of rationality into my skull which is thick with irrational believes and blocks)!
Take care!
The most immediate change I probably need to make is “get an income”. It’s a prerequisite for most other changes I’d want to make.
(My mom’s MS is unusual, because she started showing symptoms late in life, only a few years ago.)
Then your mom is lucky in more than one regard! Because of medical progress it is very different to be diagnosed with MS today than it was in 1973, when my mother had her first MS episode at the age of 27.
You wrote earlier that a lot of what you don’t like about your life is simply due to habits. Personally, I find the key to change is to persistently chip away at my mountain of bad habits (my main nemesis is procrastination) and to think more from day to day, to try to implement some (any!) positive difference in my life at a daily basis, and be it only to show a friendly face when you’re not really feeling like it, or to do that one more household chore you try to avoid, or to confront another uncomfortable truth about yourself and verbalize it to (well-chosen!) friends and acquaintances.
I know, these strategies are so basic they almost don’t qualify for Self-Help 101 but once you “really want to change” I found they work quite well.
Actually, what I said was that a lot of the activities I do (video games, blog commenting) are generally done because they’re what I’ve gotten used to spending time doing, not that the habits themselves are necessarily causing the problem.