I agree with a nitpick: you may condition yourself to not care about her. You may also condition yourself to not care about whether or not she responds even if you do still care about her. More accurately, you’re conditioning yourself to care less about these things, which may or may not result in not caring at all. And to be fair, part of the problem is that you (the hypothetical you) care too much about whether or not she responds/want to break up with you/whatever and maybe you care too much about her specifically.
I basically want to push back on the idea that saying “fuck it, she’s just a girl” is harmful. It might not be, depending. Not that I necessarily think you’re saying that, but it’s easy to see how someone might interpret you that way.
Yeah, I think we’re on the same page. Our general sentiment of “I will remind myself that the situation is not as awful as my anxiety is making me feel” is the same.
I basically want to push back on the idea that saying “fuck it, she’s just a girl” is harmful. It might not be, depending.
Right! Depending on what you mean by that, it might not be harmful at all. But I think there’s value in being really precise and unambiguous about which things to care less about, because otherwise you might accidentally stop caring about some pretty important things, thoughts being cache-able and all.
Yep, that old trade-off. Making it perpetually difficult to make posters. =]
I just worry that you’ll say “fuck it, she’s just a girl!” initially meaning “she’s just one girl and not my whole life” but your brain will randomly decide to cache it verbatim and suddenly, two months later, you’ll find yourself thinking “fuck it, she’s just a girl!” in a different anxiety-inducing situation and interpreting it as “girls don’t matter.” Which is instrumentally bad, morality and things aside.
I agree with certain values of “girls don’t matter” and strongly disagree with others, and the same goes for the various aspects of the PUA movement, which is a huuuge topic and pretty irrelevant to the OP sooo I think this is my cue to tap out.
I agree with a nitpick: you may condition yourself to not care about her. You may also condition yourself to not care about whether or not she responds even if you do still care about her. More accurately, you’re conditioning yourself to care less about these things, which may or may not result in not caring at all. And to be fair, part of the problem is that you (the hypothetical you) care too much about whether or not she responds/want to break up with you/whatever and maybe you care too much about her specifically.
I basically want to push back on the idea that saying “fuck it, she’s just a girl” is harmful. It might not be, depending. Not that I necessarily think you’re saying that, but it’s easy to see how someone might interpret you that way.
Yeah, I think we’re on the same page. Our general sentiment of “I will remind myself that the situation is not as awful as my anxiety is making me feel” is the same.
Right! Depending on what you mean by that, it might not be harmful at all. But I think there’s value in being really precise and unambiguous about which things to care less about, because otherwise you might accidentally stop caring about some pretty important things, thoughts being cache-able and all.
Yeah, there’s a trade-off though. Simple slogans seem to be much more effective, especially slogans with curse words. At least for my brain.
Yep, that old trade-off. Making it perpetually difficult to make posters. =]
I just worry that you’ll say “fuck it, she’s just a girl!” initially meaning “she’s just one girl and not my whole life” but your brain will randomly decide to cache it verbatim and suddenly, two months later, you’ll find yourself thinking “fuck it, she’s just a girl!” in a different anxiety-inducing situation and interpreting it as “girls don’t matter.” Which is instrumentally bad, morality and things aside.
Which is actually a decent theory of (some of) the PUA movement, for certain values of “girls don’t matter.”
I agree with certain values of “girls don’t matter” and strongly disagree with others, and the same goes for the various aspects of the PUA movement, which is a huuuge topic and pretty irrelevant to the OP sooo I think this is my cue to tap out.
Nice talking to you! =]
You as well :)