I hope I didn’t come out as trying to tell you things weren’t so bad, because that was not my intent. I’m not inside your head and I have no right to explain your feelings to you. I don’t, and won’t, question your circumstances, which are very real. What I’d like to help you focus on is what you decide to do about those circumstances, because that part of your personal story isn’t set in stone yet.
You probably know it’s not a healthy sign that suicidal thoughts have gotten so deep that they’ve become a core part of your identity. However, what we often cling to as our identity is more flexible than we’re willing to admit. If you’ve ever changed religions or dealt with unconventional sexual feelings, you know that the way we’ve grown used to define ourselves may in fact evolve continually.
Perhaps I ought to have been more detailed with the questioning part, but I didn’t want to cross a line where I would begin dictating to you what you should do. Questioning your mind also involves learning to distinguish which thoughts are reliable and which aren’t. Examine where a thought leads you, trace the consequences as fully as you can before you judge whether that thought serves you or not, and by “serve you,” you may insert whichever you like from “makes me stronger,” “makes me happier,” “calms me down,” or whatever priority you have set for your life. You won’t always want to ask yourself what’s the use of every thought, because it gets tiresome at times. You’ll need to set criteria that work for you so you’re free from both carelessness and overthinking.
I hope I didn’t come out as trying to tell you things weren’t so bad, because that was not my intent. I’m not inside your head and I have no right to explain your feelings to you. I don’t, and won’t, question your circumstances, which are very real. What I’d like to help you focus on is what you decide to do about those circumstances, because that part of your personal story isn’t set in stone yet.
You probably know it’s not a healthy sign that suicidal thoughts have gotten so deep that they’ve become a core part of your identity. However, what we often cling to as our identity is more flexible than we’re willing to admit. If you’ve ever changed religions or dealt with unconventional sexual feelings, you know that the way we’ve grown used to define ourselves may in fact evolve continually.
Perhaps I ought to have been more detailed with the questioning part, but I didn’t want to cross a line where I would begin dictating to you what you should do. Questioning your mind also involves learning to distinguish which thoughts are reliable and which aren’t. Examine where a thought leads you, trace the consequences as fully as you can before you judge whether that thought serves you or not, and by “serve you,” you may insert whichever you like from “makes me stronger,” “makes me happier,” “calms me down,” or whatever priority you have set for your life. You won’t always want to ask yourself what’s the use of every thought, because it gets tiresome at times. You’ll need to set criteria that work for you so you’re free from both carelessness and overthinking.