Okay, I think this is the crux of the argument. For me, time spent waiting after an agreed upon time feels much worse than time waiting before. Morally, time waiting after represents Someone Breaking a Promise in a way time waiting before does not (absent a meta agreement about what “on time” means, which it sounds like you have). Practically, time when I know when I’ll be interrupted is much more valuable than time when I could be interrupted at any moment, and people tend to get angry if you keep them waiting after the appointed time, even if they were late. I can’t start something new if I might be interrupted at any moment and I can’t pick something that will fit in the time slot because I don’t know when I’ll be interrupted, so the time is just *lost*.
I don’t count these as symmetrical for a) the reasons that elizabeth mentions, and b) differences in anticipation—even in a culture which embraces unreliability, “time from now(early) until appointed time” is known, where “time from now(late) until other person actually arrives” is not.
I would consider waiting for a duration the length of which is known from the start to be less annoying than waiting for the same duration but but not knowing that length. If I know how long I will be waiting, I can choose how to engage my attention in ways that aren’t feasible if I don’t; I can commit to focusing on a book or podcast for a certain amount of time without worrying if it’s too short to become engaged, I can do a task on my phone which I want to do in one sitting and which I anticipate will take an amount of time less than my expected wait time, I can wander about the area and look at interesting nearby things.
Further, when you have a meeting involving more than two people, (1) when you’re early, only you have time wasted as a result, whereas (2) when you’re late, everyone else has time wasted as a result. This favours norms against unexpected lateness for the many-people case, and it’s simplest for them to carry over to the two-people case.
Yes, that is generally how I feel about it.
Okay, I think this is the crux of the argument. For me, time spent waiting after an agreed upon time feels much worse than time waiting before. Morally, time waiting after represents Someone Breaking a Promise in a way time waiting before does not (absent a meta agreement about what “on time” means, which it sounds like you have). Practically, time when I know when I’ll be interrupted is much more valuable than time when I could be interrupted at any moment, and people tend to get angry if you keep them waiting after the appointed time, even if they were late. I can’t start something new if I might be interrupted at any moment and I can’t pick something that will fit in the time slot because I don’t know when I’ll be interrupted, so the time is just *lost*.
I don’t count these as symmetrical for a) the reasons that elizabeth mentions, and b) differences in anticipation—even in a culture which embraces unreliability, “time from now(early) until appointed time” is known, where “time from now(late) until other person actually arrives” is not.
I would consider waiting for a duration the length of which is known from the start to be less annoying than waiting for the same duration but but not knowing that length. If I know how long I will be waiting, I can choose how to engage my attention in ways that aren’t feasible if I don’t; I can commit to focusing on a book or podcast for a certain amount of time without worrying if it’s too short to become engaged, I can do a task on my phone which I want to do in one sitting and which I anticipate will take an amount of time less than my expected wait time, I can wander about the area and look at interesting nearby things.
Further, when you have a meeting involving more than two people, (1) when you’re early, only you have time wasted as a result, whereas (2) when you’re late, everyone else has time wasted as a result. This favours norms against unexpected lateness for the many-people case, and it’s simplest for them to carry over to the two-people case.