but I don’t feel them becoming habitual as I would like
Have you noticed any improvement? For example, an increase in the amount of time you feel able to be friendly? If so, then be not discouraged! If not, try changing the reward structure.
For example, you can explicitly reward yourself for exceeding thresholds (an hour of non-stop small talk --> extra dark chocolate) or meeting challenges (a friendly conversation with that guy --> watch a light documentary). Start small and easy. Or: Some forms of friendly interaction might be more rewarding than others; persist in those to acclimate yourself to longer periods of socialising.
There’s a lot of literature on self-management out there. If you’re into economics, you might appreciate the approach called picoeconomics:
Caution: In my own experience, building new habits is less about reading theories and more about doing the thing you want to get better at, but it’s disappointingly easy to convince myself that a deep dive into the literature is somehow just as good; your experience may be similar (or it may not).
Have you noticed any improvement? For example, an increase in the amount of time you feel able to be friendly? If so, then be not discouraged! If not, try changing the reward structure.
For example, you can explicitly reward yourself for exceeding thresholds (an hour of non-stop small talk --> extra dark chocolate) or meeting challenges (a friendly conversation with that guy --> watch a light documentary). Start small and easy. Or: Some forms of friendly interaction might be more rewarding than others; persist in those to acclimate yourself to longer periods of socialising.
There’s a lot of literature on self-management out there. If you’re into economics, you might appreciate the approach called picoeconomics:
http://www.picoeconomics.org
George Ainslie), picoecon pioneer
Old LW piece
Caution: In my own experience, building new habits is less about reading theories and more about doing the thing you want to get better at, but it’s disappointingly easy to convince myself that a deep dive into the literature is somehow just as good; your experience may be similar (or it may not).