FWIW, to me, the big difference between a particular mode of thought being objectifying or not has less to do with how one models people’s reactions than what one’s goal is. If what “works” just means what gets you laid or makes you happy, regardless of its effect on others, then you’re treating the other person as just a tool to your own satisfaction. That, to me, is “objectifying” and, well, makes you a shitty, bad person as far as I’m concerned.
If, on the other hand, you actually care about the prospective other person’s feelings as well, and what “works” is what makes both of you happy, then I can’t really see a problem.
FWIW, to me, the big difference between a particular mode of thought being objectifying or not has less to do with how one models people’s reactions than what one’s goal is. If what “works” just means what gets you laid or makes you happy, regardless of its effect on others, then you’re treating the other person as just a tool to your own satisfaction. That, to me, is “objectifying” and, well, makes you a shitty, bad person as far as I’m concerned.
If, on the other hand, you actually care about the prospective other person’s feelings as well, and what “works” is what makes both of you happy, then I can’t really see a problem.