If you’re worried about the reaction to group labels, then why not:
“I’ve been hanging out with some interesting people lately,” ?
Of course, it’s possible that whoever it is you’re talking to will decide that you’ve just said that they’re boring...
I meet a few people who apparently wilfully and repeatedly misinterpret what I’m saying, even when told that wasn’t what I meant at all and I don’t know how to deal with that.
I meet a few people who apparently wilfully and repeatedly misinterpret what I’m saying, even when told that wasn’t what I meant at all and I don’t know how to deal with that.
You mean like this?
“Man, that guy looks so gay, I just want to bash his fucking head in.”
“My brother is gay.”
“I didn’t mean gay, I meant, like, gay.”
Maybe you need to win their trust and improve your communication skills.
Not like that, at least not that I can generally detect—but I do agree that my communication skills could do with some improvement—which is odd, since I’ve had a ‘public-facing’ job for over 10 years and get a fair amount of practice talking to people and it seems that it hasn’t helped :(
It could be that even if it doesn’t seem like that to you, it sounds like that to them. Surely almost everyone has gone through lots of experiences where they interpret someone correctly to have said something offensive, at which point the offender attempts to weasel out of it; perhaps that’s the template you’re matching in their mind, even if it’s not what you’re doing. By comparison, the number of interactions where someone is trying to explain a difficult concept is pretty small, outside of certain small groups.
I’ve been hanging out with some interesting people lately
equals zero minus the following:
I meet a few people who apparently wilfully and repeatedly misinterpret what I’m saying, even when told that wasn’t what I meant at all and I don’t know how to deal with that.
equals:
“I’ve been hanging out with some people lately who almost never misinterpret what I’m saying, and they change their minds when told something wasn’t what I meant.”
If you’re worried about the reaction to group labels, then why not:
“I’ve been hanging out with some interesting people lately,” ?
Of course, it’s possible that whoever it is you’re talking to will decide that you’ve just said that they’re boring...
I meet a few people who apparently wilfully and repeatedly misinterpret what I’m saying, even when told that wasn’t what I meant at all and I don’t know how to deal with that.
You mean like this?
“Man, that guy looks so gay, I just want to bash his fucking head in.”
“My brother is gay.”
“I didn’t mean gay, I meant, like, gay.”
Maybe you need to win their trust and improve your communication skills.
Not like that, at least not that I can generally detect—but I do agree that my communication skills could do with some improvement—which is odd, since I’ve had a ‘public-facing’ job for over 10 years and get a fair amount of practice talking to people and it seems that it hasn’t helped :(
It could be that even if it doesn’t seem like that to you, it sounds like that to them. Surely almost everyone has gone through lots of experiences where they interpret someone correctly to have said something offensive, at which point the offender attempts to weasel out of it; perhaps that’s the template you’re matching in their mind, even if it’s not what you’re doing. By comparison, the number of interactions where someone is trying to explain a difficult concept is pretty small, outside of certain small groups.
equals zero minus the following:
equals:
“I’ve been hanging out with some people lately who almost never misinterpret what I’m saying, and they change their minds when told something wasn’t what I meant.”
Clever, but that category also includes people with good listening skills who are not rationalists.