Dale Carnegie says (correctly, AFAIK) that most of us try to persuade others by explaining the benefits from our point of view (“I want you to play basketball with me because I don’t have enough people to play basketball with”), even though it works better to explain the benefits from their points of view. Matches my experiences, and matches also many/most of the local craigslist ads. The gains if we notice and change this one would be significant.
Interesting. But searching a bit this applies to business. Looks nice on a job interview. Don’t try this on a date! (no lukeprog allowed)
Why not? Lukeprog’s mistake, assuming you’re talking about what I think you’re talking about, seems to have been quite the opposite of trying to explain the benefits of an option from the other person’s point of view:
So I broke up with Alice over a long conversation that included an hour-long primer on evolutionary psychology in which I explained how natural selection had built me to be attracted to certain features that she lacked.
I imagine he’d have had better luck, or at least not become the butt of quite so many relationship jokes on LW, if he’d gone with something like “you deserve someone who appreciates you better”. Notice that from Alice’s perspective, this describes exactly the same situation—but in terms of what it means to her.
So I broke up with Alice over a long conversation that included an hour-long primer on evolutionary psychology in which I explained how natural selection had built me to be attracted to certain features that she lacked.
ROFL… An hour-long primer to explain “You should have gotten a boob job” X-D
Interesting. But searching a bit this applies to business. Looks nice on a job interview. Don’t try this on a date! (no lukeprog allowed)
Thanks for the advice! For completedness, I’d assume this is what you meant: http://www.dalecarnegie.com/communication_effectiveness_-_present_to_persuade/ or at least gives it a deeper point.
Why not? Lukeprog’s mistake, assuming you’re talking about what I think you’re talking about, seems to have been quite the opposite of trying to explain the benefits of an option from the other person’s point of view:
I imagine he’d have had better luck, or at least not become the butt of quite so many relationship jokes on LW, if he’d gone with something like “you deserve someone who appreciates you better”. Notice that from Alice’s perspective, this describes exactly the same situation—but in terms of what it means to her.
Nah. Just meant that considering his posts on relationships, he might try that, so therefore, no lukeprog allowed.
In truth I was just trying to use reverse psychology to get him to do it and hopefully post some results.
And this is where this silliness ends before I get more downvoetes.
ROFL… An hour-long primer to explain “You should have gotten a boob job” X-D