How about self/other tradeoffs? In my primary relationship I often consider a decision’s effect on myself and on my partner in more-or-less utilitarian fashion, while also taking into account heuristics around obligations and rights. Though admittedly it’s never a pure moral dilemma in that it’s usually bound up with an akrasia problem and/or a prediction problem.
For example, say I have an extra hour or two to myself to either clean or play Kerbal Space Program. Factors that could go into the decision:
-How much I’d rather play KSP than clean
-How much happiness I’ll derive from the cleanliness if I clean
-How much happiness my partner will derive from the cleanliness if I clean
-How much secondhand happiness I’ll derive from the above point
-How much of a share of chores I’ve generally been doing
Of course, even if cleaning is the rationally correct decision, that’s no guarantee I’ll do it. Or maybe I’ve been doing more than my share of chores and the best choice would be to tell my partner to do the cleaning instead, but I’m afraid of having that conversation.
And if the utility considerations point to a different choice than the fairness considerations, I’m in a rather interesting spot.
How about self/other tradeoffs? In my primary relationship I often consider a decision’s effect on myself and on my partner in more-or-less utilitarian fashion, while also taking into account heuristics around obligations and rights. Though admittedly it’s never a pure moral dilemma in that it’s usually bound up with an akrasia problem and/or a prediction problem.
For example, say I have an extra hour or two to myself to either clean or play Kerbal Space Program. Factors that could go into the decision: -How much I’d rather play KSP than clean -How much happiness I’ll derive from the cleanliness if I clean -How much happiness my partner will derive from the cleanliness if I clean -How much secondhand happiness I’ll derive from the above point -How much of a share of chores I’ve generally been doing
Of course, even if cleaning is the rationally correct decision, that’s no guarantee I’ll do it. Or maybe I’ve been doing more than my share of chores and the best choice would be to tell my partner to do the cleaning instead, but I’m afraid of having that conversation.
And if the utility considerations point to a different choice than the fairness considerations, I’m in a rather interesting spot.