Since I’m not sure whether this advice would be welcome in a recent discussion, I’m just going to start cold by describing something which has worked for me.
In an initial post, I explain what kind of advice I’m looking for, and I’m specific about preferring advice from people who’ve gotten improvement in [specific situation]. I normally say other advice is welcome, but you’d be amazed how little of it I get.
I believe it’s important to head off unwanted advice early. I can’t remember whether I normally put my limiting request at the beginning or end of a post, but I think it helps if you can keep your commenters from becoming a mutually reinforcing advice-giving crowd.
I suggest that starting by being specific about what you do and don’t want is (among other things) an assertion of status, and this has some effects on the advice-giving dynamic.
I normally do want advice from people who’ve had appropriate experience. Has anyone tried being clear at the beginning that they don’t want advice?
In my social circle, explicitly tagging posts as “I’m not looking for advice” seems to work pretty well at discouraging advice. I don’t do it often myself though.
And you’re right, of course, that it is among other things an assertion of status, though of course it’s also a useful piece of explicit information.
Since I’m not sure whether this advice would be welcome in a recent discussion, I’m just going to start cold by describing something which has worked for me.
In an initial post, I explain what kind of advice I’m looking for, and I’m specific about preferring advice from people who’ve gotten improvement in [specific situation]. I normally say other advice is welcome, but you’d be amazed how little of it I get.
I believe it’s important to head off unwanted advice early. I can’t remember whether I normally put my limiting request at the beginning or end of a post, but I think it helps if you can keep your commenters from becoming a mutually reinforcing advice-giving crowd.
I suggest that starting by being specific about what you do and don’t want is (among other things) an assertion of status, and this has some effects on the advice-giving dynamic.
I normally do want advice from people who’ve had appropriate experience. Has anyone tried being clear at the beginning that they don’t want advice?
In my social circle, explicitly tagging posts as “I’m not looking for advice” seems to work pretty well at discouraging advice. I don’t do it often myself though.
And you’re right, of course, that it is among other things an assertion of status, though of course it’s also a useful piece of explicit information.