I disagree with MattG. I don’t think that it sounds mean as it currently stands (I did not see the original). However, NONE OF THIS MATTERS. Check with Clarity. What MattG and Tem42 think only matter when you are asking them a question.
I’ve felt amused, baffled, humbled and proud thinking about your reply but mostly grateful about the comment.
Elo I really appreciate it because I would like to set a precedence of open feedback and I love hearing what people think of myself since my self-awareness and insight isn’t the best.
Thanks for the feedback; I feel like this whole event was handled entirely reasonably by all parties (of course nothing bad happened so it might feel less reasonable if something bad did come of it)
The original post is heavily modified from the first iteration. look at every explicit clarification of things and simplify it to one word. i.e. It has given me cause to have some concerns arising from you finding it useful.” used to read, “it concerns me that you find it useful”. which when read wrong is really not a nice line.
There’s no way to word it in that way that doesn’t sound mean. What I would have done was just say “Thanks! What did you find useful about it?” Which would have gotten the same information without passing judgement about someone’s normalcy.
Oh no! I don’t want to sound mean at all! I suspect that clarity understands their non-mainstream position. And I don’t mean it as a bad thing at all; just as a point of declaration. (I tend to find value in non-mainstream myself)
I suppose that its entirely unclear that I value non-mainstream over mainstream unless you know the internal workings of my head. And therefore that non-mainstream is a compliment not an insult—is entirely unclear.
I am going to have to hope that Clarity reads all the posts and makes a reasonably charitable judgement about my comments...
Yes I feel like a bigger deal is being made out of this than it deserves. If anything, I would hope that more people took your approach. We have interacted on LessWrong enough to have made a sophisticated judgements about me that has made for a more useful interpretation of my response than otherwise, and you’ve expressed that which will help others who don’t share that private knowledge.
I think it will be a real shame if you avoid making a similar comment in the future which benefits you and me both, but the community, altruistically, effectively and empathetic-ally, thinking what’s best for two consenting adults, confuses one or both parties or complicates their utility calculations and/or theory of mind.
When reading you post, I read no mean intent from it and had no reason to fill in any blanks with it. Yep I’m reading all these posts and you’re getting a well-deserved upvote for your reply.
Edit: I’ll add that Elo, MattG and Lumifer, all participants in this chain of comments are clearly in the top 10 and highly like top 5 or higher or people who’ve made my stay on LessWrong..well..bearable to the rest of you. My post quality is gradually getting better and better based on feedback of any kind.
Edit 2: I’ll add that I also found the original reply a bit funny and I’m having a bit of a giggle thinking that my first edit might distress Elo again. Though, I think his theory on that matter is fallacious and I’m looking forward to seeing if and how his ideas change.
I have a few more posts in the series. Several are partially completed, most of what is slowing me down is the time they take to create, I have estimated 22 hours of time to create the things I want to create; give or take; of similar content that I am in the process of preparing. (9 posts ~2-3 hours each)
I also like to write it. wait a week; re-read it; and clean it up to make more sense.
Maybe this is just the typical mind fallacy, but if I said I like something and someone else says “Oh no!” instead of “Thank you”, I wouldn’t feel very good.
I didn’t read any negative connotations into it. I take no offense from it at all. I did find the side-stepping a bit awkward and that a bit offensive, because it implies Elo didn’t want to incur the wraith of the community or my ire from something more direct. That would imply either/and I don’t come across as receptive to negative evaluations (when in fact I have a slight preference for them to positive ones since I know which areas to improve then). Though, Elo is right in his caution since he has incurred right.
You know what they said, any information is good to a Bayesian, or something like that.
I feel really good and cared for reading this. I also feel slightly ashamed and undeserving like I’m taking your attention away from potentially more important things. Thank you.
That was really mean, dude. Think how you would feel if you gave someone a compliment then they said this about you.
:/ Can you understand my intention in the post? And can you help me re-word it to be less mean?
Edited; is that better?
I disagree with MattG. I don’t think that it sounds mean as it currently stands (I did not see the original). However, NONE OF THIS MATTERS. Check with Clarity. What MattG and Tem42 think only matter when you are asking them a question.
I’ve felt amused, baffled, humbled and proud thinking about your reply but mostly grateful about the comment.
Elo I really appreciate it because I would like to set a precedence of open feedback and I love hearing what people think of myself since my self-awareness and insight isn’t the best.
Thanks for the feedback; I feel like this whole event was handled entirely reasonably by all parties (of course nothing bad happened so it might feel less reasonable if something bad did come of it)
The original post is heavily modified from the first iteration. look at every explicit clarification of things and simplify it to one word. i.e. It has given me cause to have some concerns arising from you finding it useful.” used to read, “it concerns me that you find it useful”. which when read wrong is really not a nice line.
There’s no way to word it in that way that doesn’t sound mean. What I would have done was just say “Thanks! What did you find useful about it?” Which would have gotten the same information without passing judgement about someone’s normalcy.
Oh no! I don’t want to sound mean at all! I suspect that clarity understands their non-mainstream position. And I don’t mean it as a bad thing at all; just as a point of declaration. (I tend to find value in non-mainstream myself)
I suppose that its entirely unclear that I value non-mainstream over mainstream unless you know the internal workings of my head. And therefore that non-mainstream is a compliment not an insult—is entirely unclear.
I am going to have to hope that Clarity reads all the posts and makes a reasonably charitable judgement about my comments...
Yes I feel like a bigger deal is being made out of this than it deserves. If anything, I would hope that more people took your approach. We have interacted on LessWrong enough to have made a sophisticated judgements about me that has made for a more useful interpretation of my response than otherwise, and you’ve expressed that which will help others who don’t share that private knowledge.
I think it will be a real shame if you avoid making a similar comment in the future which benefits you and me both, but the community, altruistically, effectively and empathetic-ally, thinking what’s best for two consenting adults, confuses one or both parties or complicates their utility calculations and/or theory of mind.
When reading you post, I read no mean intent from it and had no reason to fill in any blanks with it. Yep I’m reading all these posts and you’re getting a well-deserved upvote for your reply.
Edit: I’ll add that Elo, MattG and Lumifer, all participants in this chain of comments are clearly in the top 10 and highly like top 5 or higher or people who’ve made my stay on LessWrong..well..bearable to the rest of you. My post quality is gradually getting better and better based on feedback of any kind.
Edit 2: I’ll add that I also found the original reply a bit funny and I’m having a bit of a giggle thinking that my first edit might distress Elo again. Though, I think his theory on that matter is fallacious and I’m looking forward to seeing if and how his ideas change.
I have a few more posts in the series. Several are partially completed, most of what is slowing me down is the time they take to create, I have estimated 22 hours of time to create the things I want to create; give or take; of similar content that I am in the process of preparing. (9 posts ~2-3 hours each)
I also like to write it. wait a week; re-read it; and clean it up to make more sense.
Maybe this is just the typical mind fallacy, but if I said I like something and someone else says “Oh no!” instead of “Thank you”, I wouldn’t feel very good.
I didn’t read any negative connotations into it. I take no offense from it at all. I did find the side-stepping a bit awkward and that a bit offensive, because it implies Elo didn’t want to incur the wraith of the community or my ire from something more direct. That would imply either/and I don’t come across as receptive to negative evaluations (when in fact I have a slight preference for them to positive ones since I know which areas to improve then). Though, Elo is right in his caution since he has incurred right.
You know what they said, any information is good to a Bayesian, or something like that.
Perfect! Typical mind fallacy it is then.
I feel really good and cared for reading this. I also feel slightly ashamed and undeserving like I’m taking your attention away from potentially more important things. Thank you.