“Taking care of you is my sacred duty. I care about you. It is important that you tell me if there is something wrong.”
Is precisely something that Swimmer963 could say even though she’s annoyed. She doesn’t have to deny that she’s annoyed, or even imply it. In fact it’s probably futile to try… of course she’s annoyed, and the patient suspects that. That is exactly the motivation for her lie in the first place.
The statement above nevertheless conveys her overall commitment to the patient’s wellbeing, and encourages the patient to understand that “Obviously, my nurse is annoyed about the crap in the bed, but there are more important factors at play here.”
As an extra bonus, I don’t think it’s a lie, hence providing a response to Eliezer’s implied challenge.
On the contrary, her claimed standard response:
“This doesn’t bother me. I’ve got plenty of time. I just want you to be comfortable, that’s my job.”
Contains three lies, none of which will probably even be believed by the patient:
“This doesn’t bother me.”
(Obvious lie.)
“I’ve got plenty of time.”
(Obvious lie.)
“I just want you to be comfortable.”
(True in spirit but obviously literally false—she also wants to eat or sleep or socialise or get out of this room that stinks of crap, etc.)
“That’s my job.”
(The patient knows that, but it’s cold comfort to them and saying it might suggest that’s the only reason the nurse is helping them, which erodes patient-nurse rapport.)
My point is that Swimmer963′s strategy probably doesn’t really achieve her goals, lying or no lying, and in my original post I was suggesting a possible (honest) alternative.
That’s not quite sufficient as it’s the word “sacred” which does the heavy lifting. Saying it’s her duty isn’t particularly meaningful for a nurse—it’s her job, that’s what she is paid to do. She is not doing you a favour, cleaning up shit is right there in her job description.
Sorry, I should clarify. I was saying that:
Is precisely something that Swimmer963 could say even though she’s annoyed. She doesn’t have to deny that she’s annoyed, or even imply it. In fact it’s probably futile to try… of course she’s annoyed, and the patient suspects that. That is exactly the motivation for her lie in the first place.
The statement above nevertheless conveys her overall commitment to the patient’s wellbeing, and encourages the patient to understand that “Obviously, my nurse is annoyed about the crap in the bed, but there are more important factors at play here.”
As an extra bonus, I don’t think it’s a lie, hence providing a response to Eliezer’s implied challenge.
On the contrary, her claimed standard response:
Contains three lies, none of which will probably even be believed by the patient:
My point is that Swimmer963′s strategy probably doesn’t really achieve her goals, lying or no lying, and in my original post I was suggesting a possible (honest) alternative.
If a nurse started talking to me about her “sacred duty”, I certainly would not believe her.
What about if she just said: ‘duty’?
That’s not quite sufficient as it’s the word “sacred” which does the heavy lifting. Saying it’s her duty isn’t particularly meaningful for a nurse—it’s her job, that’s what she is paid to do. She is not doing you a favour, cleaning up shit is right there in her job description.
Would you believe them more or less than if they said they’re not annoyed that you shat the bed?
That depends. Mostly on the non-verbal clues that accompany the statement, but also on what do I know about this particular nurse.