This post’s purpose is only to point out the pattern and nudge basic self-reflection, and that it is sometimes enough to solve the problem. It doesn’t solve all problems regarding hijacked values, which is what I’m currently trying to find a good-enough solution to (or create a good-enough taxonomy of types of hijacked values and heuristics).
For example, some of these are identity based. I saw myself as a hard worker, so I worked hard at every school assignment, even when it wasn’t at all necessary.
Others are gamificiation-y (like a video game): 100%-ing a game, reaching a certain rank/level, daily rewards!, or recommended videos/articles, or a cliff-hanger in a story with the next chapter available.
Others are extreme social incentive-y, such as cults, abusive relationships, and multi-level marketing, where local rewards and punishments become more salient than what you used to value (or would value if you left that environment for a few years).
I’m currently not in love with these divisions. A better framing (according to the metric of achieving your goals better) would make it clear what action to take in each situation to better know your true values.
For the gamification one, they tend to involve a bunch of open loops that leave you wanting to resolve (where the cliff hanger is a great example). This causes thoughts regarding the loop to come up spontaneously. In context, the loops aren’t that important, but locally, they may appear more important (like being angry at a loved one for interrupting you or preventing you from finishing a show/chapter/etc). I think being triggered in general here counts. Typical antidotes is the traditional “take a walk” and regarding meditation, better awareness and capacity to let go (not arguing that meditation works here, but may write a post on that)
This is different than cults and abusive relationships, where there is a strong motivation to leave your normal environment (the type of abusive relationship I have in mind is “you can’t see your friends anymore”), making the local rewards and punishments more salient as time goes by. I may even include drugs w/ withdrawals here. The usual solution is leaving those environments for healthier ones to compare against, though this happens in transitions due to ideas coupling (bucket errors). [This feels unsubstantiated to me and would benefit from more specific examples]. The gamification one had two answers: “change environment” or “change your relationship to the environment”. There may be some situations where you’re forced in a horrible environment and your only choice is to change your relationship to your environment, but this would require some high-level meditation insights in my opinion. “Leaving” seems the most actionable response. Maybe “recognizing” you’re in a cult is an important vein for future thought.
The identity based will cause ignoring/flinching from incompatible thoughts. This may benefit from becoming more sensitive to subtle thoughts you typically ignore (noticing confusions was a similar process for me). I feel like meditating relates, but I’m unsure on the mechanism. It’s mumble mumble everything is empty mumble.
There’s also a thread on “horrible events cause you to realize what’s important” to look into.
This post’s purpose is only to point out the pattern and nudge basic self-reflection, and that it is sometimes enough to solve the problem. It doesn’t solve all problems regarding hijacked values, which is what I’m currently trying to find a good-enough solution to (or create a good-enough taxonomy of types of hijacked values and heuristics).
For example, some of these are identity based. I saw myself as a hard worker, so I worked hard at every school assignment, even when it wasn’t at all necessary.
Others are gamificiation-y (like a video game): 100%-ing a game, reaching a certain rank/level, daily rewards!, or recommended videos/articles, or a cliff-hanger in a story with the next chapter available.
Others are extreme social incentive-y, such as cults, abusive relationships, and multi-level marketing, where local rewards and punishments become more salient than what you used to value (or would value if you left that environment for a few years).
I’m currently not in love with these divisions. A better framing (according to the metric of achieving your goals better) would make it clear what action to take in each situation to better know your true values.
For the gamification one, they tend to involve a bunch of open loops that leave you wanting to resolve (where the cliff hanger is a great example). This causes thoughts regarding the loop to come up spontaneously. In context, the loops aren’t that important, but locally, they may appear more important (like being angry at a loved one for interrupting you or preventing you from finishing a show/chapter/etc). I think being triggered in general here counts. Typical antidotes is the traditional “take a walk” and regarding meditation, better awareness and capacity to let go (not arguing that meditation works here, but may write a post on that)
This is different than cults and abusive relationships, where there is a strong motivation to leave your normal environment (the type of abusive relationship I have in mind is “you can’t see your friends anymore”), making the local rewards and punishments more salient as time goes by. I may even include drugs w/ withdrawals here. The usual solution is leaving those environments for healthier ones to compare against, though this happens in transitions due to ideas coupling (bucket errors). [This feels unsubstantiated to me and would benefit from more specific examples]. The gamification one had two answers: “change environment” or “change your relationship to the environment”. There may be some situations where you’re forced in a horrible environment and your only choice is to change your relationship to your environment, but this would require some high-level meditation insights in my opinion. “Leaving” seems the most actionable response. Maybe “recognizing” you’re in a cult is an important vein for future thought.
The identity based will cause ignoring/flinching from incompatible thoughts. This may benefit from becoming more sensitive to subtle thoughts you typically ignore (noticing confusions was a similar process for me). I feel like meditating relates, but I’m unsure on the mechanism. It’s mumble mumble everything is empty mumble.
There’s also a thread on “horrible events cause you to realize what’s important” to look into.