Are the people you know now awesome and in sufficient variety and number? If so, I can totally understand not needing to know more.
His problem was indeed his lack of social skills, but it was signalled by his nerdyess. The point here is not that there is a 1:1 comparison from these signalling characteristics to the end result, but that enough of the population thinks this way for it to alienate a large portion of the population when one signals in such a manner. That portion of the population includes many interesting people and should not be cast aside lightly. My life for example improved dramatically when I changed my signalling characteristics into a more confident and visually appealing style.
Are the people you know now awesome and in sufficient variety and number?
It’s not just an issue of awesomeness and number but also time and distance. I have a pretty busy schedule these days so it would be nontrivial for me to find the time(/stamina) to hang out with more than a handful people on a regular basis; also, no matter how awesome someone is it’d be hard for me to be friends with them if they live halfway across the globe, so what matters isn’t how awesome my friends are on an absolute scale, but how awesome my friends are compared to other people in my area. If I lived in the Bay Area and had more time than I know what to do with, things would presumably be different.
Sufficient is no absolute term, it is dependent on free time and other resources. Which is another way of saying I agree. With that said there is unavoidable attrition of friends from changing circumstances, locations, schedules and other factors that get in the way. I find it optimal to spend a certain small proportion of time seeking out new experiences with new people. After all, what are the chances that the people I currently know are the most suited to me out of the tens of thousands in the surrounding area? It feels like a betrayal to think such a thought, but I can come up with no good reason why I should listen to that particular emotion.
Eventually things change and I see no reason to replace the friends who must leave my life with the first reasonably compatible people to come along, when I could instead take a proactive stance and do better. We decide the people we want in our lives
Are the people you know now awesome and in sufficient variety and number? If so, I can totally understand not needing to know more.
His problem was indeed his lack of social skills, but it was signalled by his nerdyess. The point here is not that there is a 1:1 comparison from these signalling characteristics to the end result, but that enough of the population thinks this way for it to alienate a large portion of the population when one signals in such a manner. That portion of the population includes many interesting people and should not be cast aside lightly. My life for example improved dramatically when I changed my signalling characteristics into a more confident and visually appealing style.
It’s not just an issue of awesomeness and number but also time and distance. I have a pretty busy schedule these days so it would be nontrivial for me to find the time(/stamina) to hang out with more than a handful people on a regular basis; also, no matter how awesome someone is it’d be hard for me to be friends with them if they live halfway across the globe, so what matters isn’t how awesome my friends are on an absolute scale, but how awesome my friends are compared to other people in my area. If I lived in the Bay Area and had more time than I know what to do with, things would presumably be different.
Sufficient is no absolute term, it is dependent on free time and other resources. Which is another way of saying I agree. With that said there is unavoidable attrition of friends from changing circumstances, locations, schedules and other factors that get in the way. I find it optimal to spend a certain small proportion of time seeking out new experiences with new people. After all, what are the chances that the people I currently know are the most suited to me out of the tens of thousands in the surrounding area? It feels like a betrayal to think such a thought, but I can come up with no good reason why I should listen to that particular emotion.
Eventually things change and I see no reason to replace the friends who must leave my life with the first reasonably compatible people to come along, when I could instead take a proactive stance and do better. We decide the people we want in our lives