ETA: sorry for the rather rambling comment, and sorry for making it all about me!
This post is really interesting, thank you. When I was 22 I did quite badly in my exams at university, mostly because I had mental health problems around exam time. I had been ambitious up until then, but after that, my ambition somehow deserted me, since I became convinced that if I tried to do too much I would get too stressed and fall apart. I dropped the economics part of my degree, since it was harder, and graduated with a philosophy degree. In my final year, I put in the minimum amount of work needed to get a 2.1 (which was what the average student on my course got).
Since I graduated, I’ve done jobs that are far less challenging than I’m capable of, and spent large amounts of time being totally convinced that I’m on the verge of getting fired (I haven’t been fired :)). I’ve just been convinced that if I try to achieve more than “having a job” I’ll fail at everything and there will be doom.
Recently, however (after 7 years), my ambition is returning. My mental health has vastly improved, in part due to mindfulness and CBT techniques, and I’m taking on something challenging at work. I’ve decided to take more risks even though I might fail.
I’ve found HPMOR (I read it all at once in the last week) really useful too. I think I mostly want to develop my Griffindor side. I just don’t do many brave things. I’m not out to my family about polyamory, bisexuality or kink. I’m not out to most of my friends as a less wrong reader and aspiring rationalist because I’m worried that they’ll think that I’ve joined a phyg! I don’t ask guys out, and I’m even too scared to go to the local less wrong meetup because I’ll be older than people and I worry they won’t think I’m smart enough. I’d like to try to do more scary things.
I’m not out to most of my friends as a less wrong reader and aspiring rationalist because I’m worried that they’ll think that I’ve joined a phyg! I don’t ask guys out, and I’m even too scared to go to the local less wrong meetup because I’ll be older than people and I worry they won’t think I’m smart enough.
I hate the “phyg” coinage so much. That said, I’ve had a decent amount of luck introducing the LW meme cluster to people as a toolset rather than an identity, thus avoiding all the heuristics that get triggered by “hey, mom, wanna hear about this new philosophy of life that I’ve started identifying with?” Ideally, the name of the site should come up much later: start with the stuff your audience would find useful or interesting, and if that works well, you know where to find more.
Truthfully, I’d say that’s a better way to approach it even if you aren’t trying to build community.
As to LW meetup demographics, I wouldn’t worry too much about age. If you’re older than most of your local group, that’s if anything a status positive, and expected intelligence isn’t likely to be much of a problem either; bear in mind that what you see on the site is filtered for some level of domain knowledge, thanks to our norms against spinning bullshit or repeating popular beliefs without research. People, especially young people, tend to come off as less knowledgeable and eloquent in person.
I’m not out to most of my friends as a less wrong reader and aspiring rationalist because I’m worried that they’ll think that I’ve joined a phyg!
Do … do you mean we can have friends outside of LW? Don’t the sequences say that’s irrational?
I’ve by now pitched LW to quite a lot of friends, STEM-types mostly. It’s worth thinking of a ‘pitch’, or some sort of casual mention, you feel comfortable with, so you don’t avoid the topic at the last moment.
Raising awareness for the EA community in general, or LW in particular, are probably among the lowest hanging fruit for having a high impact for low effort, it’s worth getting down that barrier of somehow being ‘embarrassed’ by hanging out with ostensibly smart people sooner rather than later. Be proud of who you are, and of your affiliations!
ETA: sorry for the rather rambling comment, and sorry for making it all about me!
I think every post I’ve ever written has been mostly about me! This is not something that LW will usually punish, if the content is useful to others in some sense.
When I was 22 I did quite badly in my exams at university, mostly because I had mental health problems around exam time. I had been ambitious up until then, but after that, my ambition somehow deserted me, since I became convinced that if I tried to do too much I would get too stressed and fall apart.
Yeah, I’ve had enough experience of this brand of self-doubt. My worry is less that I’ll have a major nervous breakdown; I’ve always been pretty resilient in that sense; but I’m definitely terrified, all the time, that an emergency will happen and I’ll freeze up or react too slowly and be completely useless. I’ve had this fear since at least the age of twelve, when I started taking lifesaving classes at the pool and realized that it was really freaking hard for me to stay calm under pressure. I think my most Gryffindor trait is that I’ve faced this fear down, repeatedly, covering it up with enthusiasm or helpfulness or whatever. I think I’ve been useless quite at lot. But this is no longer a major fear of mine.
I don’t know if the same solution will work for you. I can rely on myself to go home, exercise, write a story, bake some cookies, and bounce back to my normal emotional state even if I’ve had a day where I felt totally useless. I’ve also always been good at doing a lot of things at once and having a ridiculously full schedule; this isn’t the kind of stress that gets to me or makes me depressed or anxious, which I know it does for some people. I guess maybe it’s mindfulness techniques that help :) I’ve done counselling and tried mindfulness/CBT techniques for my work-related anxiety, but so far it’s been less effective than my base strategy of reminding myself that my anxiety is internal to me and not a part of the situation itself, and focusing on just getting particular, measurable tasks done.
Anyway, I wish you luck with the Gryffindor endeavour!
ETA: sorry for the rather rambling comment, and sorry for making it all about me!
This post is really interesting, thank you. When I was 22 I did quite badly in my exams at university, mostly because I had mental health problems around exam time. I had been ambitious up until then, but after that, my ambition somehow deserted me, since I became convinced that if I tried to do too much I would get too stressed and fall apart. I dropped the economics part of my degree, since it was harder, and graduated with a philosophy degree. In my final year, I put in the minimum amount of work needed to get a 2.1 (which was what the average student on my course got).
Since I graduated, I’ve done jobs that are far less challenging than I’m capable of, and spent large amounts of time being totally convinced that I’m on the verge of getting fired (I haven’t been fired :)). I’ve just been convinced that if I try to achieve more than “having a job” I’ll fail at everything and there will be doom.
Recently, however (after 7 years), my ambition is returning. My mental health has vastly improved, in part due to mindfulness and CBT techniques, and I’m taking on something challenging at work. I’ve decided to take more risks even though I might fail.
I’ve found HPMOR (I read it all at once in the last week) really useful too. I think I mostly want to develop my Griffindor side. I just don’t do many brave things. I’m not out to my family about polyamory, bisexuality or kink. I’m not out to most of my friends as a less wrong reader and aspiring rationalist because I’m worried that they’ll think that I’ve joined a phyg! I don’t ask guys out, and I’m even too scared to go to the local less wrong meetup because I’ll be older than people and I worry they won’t think I’m smart enough. I’d like to try to do more scary things.
I hate the “phyg” coinage so much. That said, I’ve had a decent amount of luck introducing the LW meme cluster to people as a toolset rather than an identity, thus avoiding all the heuristics that get triggered by “hey, mom, wanna hear about this new philosophy of life that I’ve started identifying with?” Ideally, the name of the site should come up much later: start with the stuff your audience would find useful or interesting, and if that works well, you know where to find more.
Truthfully, I’d say that’s a better way to approach it even if you aren’t trying to build community.
As to LW meetup demographics, I wouldn’t worry too much about age. If you’re older than most of your local group, that’s if anything a status positive, and expected intelligence isn’t likely to be much of a problem either; bear in mind that what you see on the site is filtered for some level of domain knowledge, thanks to our norms against spinning bullshit or repeating popular beliefs without research. People, especially young people, tend to come off as less knowledgeable and eloquent in person.
Do … do you mean we can have friends outside of LW? Don’t the sequences say that’s irrational?
I’ve by now pitched LW to quite a lot of friends, STEM-types mostly. It’s worth thinking of a ‘pitch’, or some sort of casual mention, you feel comfortable with, so you don’t avoid the topic at the last moment.
Raising awareness for the EA community in general, or LW in particular, are probably among the lowest hanging fruit for having a high impact for low effort, it’s worth getting down that barrier of somehow being ‘embarrassed’ by hanging out with ostensibly smart people sooner rather than later. Be proud of who you are, and of your affiliations!
I think every post I’ve ever written has been mostly about me! This is not something that LW will usually punish, if the content is useful to others in some sense.
Yeah, I’ve had enough experience of this brand of self-doubt. My worry is less that I’ll have a major nervous breakdown; I’ve always been pretty resilient in that sense; but I’m definitely terrified, all the time, that an emergency will happen and I’ll freeze up or react too slowly and be completely useless. I’ve had this fear since at least the age of twelve, when I started taking lifesaving classes at the pool and realized that it was really freaking hard for me to stay calm under pressure. I think my most Gryffindor trait is that I’ve faced this fear down, repeatedly, covering it up with enthusiasm or helpfulness or whatever. I think I’ve been useless quite at lot. But this is no longer a major fear of mine.
I don’t know if the same solution will work for you. I can rely on myself to go home, exercise, write a story, bake some cookies, and bounce back to my normal emotional state even if I’ve had a day where I felt totally useless. I’ve also always been good at doing a lot of things at once and having a ridiculously full schedule; this isn’t the kind of stress that gets to me or makes me depressed or anxious, which I know it does for some people. I guess maybe it’s mindfulness techniques that help :) I’ve done counselling and tried mindfulness/CBT techniques for my work-related anxiety, but so far it’s been less effective than my base strategy of reminding myself that my anxiety is internal to me and not a part of the situation itself, and focusing on just getting particular, measurable tasks done.
Anyway, I wish you luck with the Gryffindor endeavour!