Without more elaboration than you can put into the space of an admissions essay, I think that positing a world literally free of disease, or early deaths even as statistical aberrations, is liable to come off as naive. On the other hand, my attempts to come up with a viable substitute mostly suffer from sounding too vague, so maybe it’s worth taking a gamble on a sympathetic reader, since it at least offers an opportunity to stand out. I think the take I’d use for the bolded text might be something like
That notions of “the human condition” as an immutable thing are an easy excuse; that we can challenge the big problems, like aging, disease, perhaps even death.
I’ll add that to my list of considerations, but with the first line as follows:
“That the sad things about being human may not be immutable”
I’m going to try out the different lines on some friends (who are all “normal”), family members, and if I can gather up the courage, teachers, to see what they think about it.
Without more elaboration than you can put into the space of an admissions essay, I think that positing a world literally free of disease, or early deaths even as statistical aberrations, is liable to come off as naive. On the other hand, my attempts to come up with a viable substitute mostly suffer from sounding too vague, so maybe it’s worth taking a gamble on a sympathetic reader, since it at least offers an opportunity to stand out. I think the take I’d use for the bolded text might be something like
I’ll add that to my list of considerations, but with the first line as follows:
I’m going to try out the different lines on some friends (who are all “normal”), family members, and if I can gather up the courage, teachers, to see what they think about it.