This essay reminds me of several other pieces of writing I’ve read by LessWrong users. Specifically, it has a certain flavor of “trying-to-retell-something-written-by-Eliezer”. Bits of your essay are written in your own style of writing, and bits of it are unquestionably in someone else’s style. That other style is very distinctive and nonstandard, and I find it very very jarring when it’s not used consistently.
I don’t know if I’m more sensitive to this issue because I’ve read the source material. If so, it might not matter for an admissions essay (and otherwise, I have no major criticisms).
This essay reminds me of several other pieces of writing I’ve read by LessWrong users. Specifically, it has a certain flavor of “trying-to-retell-something-written-by-Eliezer”. Bits of your essay are written in your own style of writing, and bits of it are unquestionably in someone else’s style. That other style is very distinctive and nonstandard, and I find it very very jarring when it’s not used consistently.
I don’t know if I’m more sensitive to this issue because I’ve read the source material. If so, it might not matter for an admissions essay (and otherwise, I have no major criticisms).