No doubt extreme hardship does help later in life in terms of having solid experienced frames of reference that make the current glass seem very full in comparison.
Fortunately, I don’t think you actually have to go through major deprivation to get that frame of reference. I don’t think it is a set point issue as much as an issue of having some perspective and controlling your emotional state.
The usual corporate job is not in fact Hell. But it hits us in all the tender points that David Rock points out in “Your Brain at Work”—Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relatedness, Fairness. The most damaging thing about it, by far, is my reaction to it.
I can get my undies in a bunch over violations of the above, or I can calm down, accept that it is what it is, while looking forward to finding some place that is better.
This post hit a chord with me, and I am curious as to what actions you took to change it. Did you simply go somewhere different, or are you doing something different?
They’re too hopeless, too irresponsible, too lazy, or too cowardly, and don’t care enough about their own lives to take care of business and take action to improve their lives. ... I suggest that if you’re in an office job that “exhausts” you, you’re doing it wrong
… The usual corporate job is not in fact Hell.
…
The most damaging thing about it, by far, is my reaction to it.
My current position is not Hell. I am not going home exhausted (though I should get more sleep).
But I saw much greater possibilities with it than are bearing out. I think those possibilities are real, except for the behavior and attitudes of the people involved that keep the possibilities from becoming realities.
At least for me, that’s where frustration and crazy starts—being dependent on the decisions of others, particularly when I think they are making poor decisions.
Attitude adjustment. Instead of being frustrated on what this place isn’t, focus on all the desirable things I get out of it, what more I can get out of it, and at least attempt to get them to change their behavior that’s limiting what this job is.
But, also recall that there are other places, other opportunities, and I should start looking around at them. The world is full of wonderful opportunities. Life isn’t that hard, and could be much better.
One thing to note while reading my posts—I’m often trying to motivate myself.
They’re too hopeless, too irresponsible, too lazy, or too cowardly, and don’t care enough about their own lives to take care of business and take action to improve their lives.
That was directed at myself as much as anyone else who could use a kick in the ass. It’s from personal experience.
Some people seem to think it’s mean to say such things. I say them because I wish I had had someone to impress them upon me years ago. Validating someone in their hopelessness and learned helplessness is not compassionate, it is destructive. It’s hard to find a legal way to hurt someone more.
No doubt extreme hardship does help later in life in terms of having solid experienced frames of reference that make the current glass seem very full in comparison.
Fortunately, I don’t think you actually have to go through major deprivation to get that frame of reference. I don’t think it is a set point issue as much as an issue of having some perspective and controlling your emotional state.
The usual corporate job is not in fact Hell. But it hits us in all the tender points that David Rock points out in “Your Brain at Work”—Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relatedness, Fairness. The most damaging thing about it, by far, is my reaction to it.
I can get my undies in a bunch over violations of the above, or I can calm down, accept that it is what it is, while looking forward to finding some place that is better.
This post hit a chord with me, and I am curious as to what actions you took to change it. Did you simply go somewhere different, or are you doing something different?
Action 1 - attitude adjustment.
Earlier comments.
My current position is not Hell. I am not going home exhausted (though I should get more sleep).
But I saw much greater possibilities with it than are bearing out. I think those possibilities are real, except for the behavior and attitudes of the people involved that keep the possibilities from becoming realities.
At least for me, that’s where frustration and crazy starts—being dependent on the decisions of others, particularly when I think they are making poor decisions.
Attitude adjustment. Instead of being frustrated on what this place isn’t, focus on all the desirable things I get out of it, what more I can get out of it, and at least attempt to get them to change their behavior that’s limiting what this job is.
But, also recall that there are other places, other opportunities, and I should start looking around at them. The world is full of wonderful opportunities. Life isn’t that hard, and could be much better.
One thing to note while reading my posts—I’m often trying to motivate myself.
That was directed at myself as much as anyone else who could use a kick in the ass. It’s from personal experience.
Some people seem to think it’s mean to say such things. I say them because I wish I had had someone to impress them upon me years ago. Validating someone in their hopelessness and learned helplessness is not compassionate, it is destructive. It’s hard to find a legal way to hurt someone more.