This conference is not just making a case that Christianity is correct and debating about it. It’s bombarding you with arguments for six days, where you won’t hear an argument against Christianity or if you do it’ll be awkward rude dissent from people in inferior positions, where you won’t be able to leave or have time alone to think, and where you’re going against your will in the first place. This is time for not losing your mind, not time for changing it. Don’t keep an open mind, don’t listen to and discuss arguments, don’t change your mind because they’re right, don’t let the atmosphere influence you. If it helps you can think of it as like being undercover among huge patriots and resisting the temptation to defect (and their ideology may be better than yours), or like being in a psychiatrist hospital and watching out for abuse when you know the nurses will try to convince you your reactions are psychiatrist symptoms (and they may well be).
So don’t see anything at the conference as a social interaction or exchange of ideas. Your goals are to get out of there, to block everything out, to avoid attention, and to watch sharply for anything fishy. Block out the speakers, just watch the audience. If there’s a debate be quiet and don’t draw attention. If you’re asked to speak, voice weak agreement, be vague, or pick peripheral nits. If you’re asked to participate in group activities go through the motions as unremarkably as you can. At the socials be a bit distant but mostly your usual self when making small talk, but when someone starts discussing one of the conference topics pretend to listen and agree, smile and nod and say “Yes” and “Go on” and “Oh yeah, I liked that part” a lot. Lie like a rug if you must. Watch the social dynamics and the attitudes of everyone and anything that looks like manipulative behavior. You’ll be bored, but don’t try to think about any kind of deep topic, even unrelated (doing math and physics problems in your head are ok, anything with a social or personal component is not). Try to get enough sleep and to eat well. Enjoy the ice cream. Don’t think about anything related to the conference for a couple weeks afterward.
This is only short-term, and it won’t help with your father; you probably want to handle that afterwards separately.
Go in panic mode.
This conference is not just making a case that Christianity is correct and debating about it. It’s bombarding you with arguments for six days, where you won’t hear an argument against Christianity or if you do it’ll be awkward rude dissent from people in inferior positions, where you won’t be able to leave or have time alone to think, and where you’re going against your will in the first place. This is time for not losing your mind, not time for changing it. Don’t keep an open mind, don’t listen to and discuss arguments, don’t change your mind because they’re right, don’t let the atmosphere influence you. If it helps you can think of it as like being undercover among huge patriots and resisting the temptation to defect (and their ideology may be better than yours), or like being in a psychiatrist hospital and watching out for abuse when you know the nurses will try to convince you your reactions are psychiatrist symptoms (and they may well be).
So don’t see anything at the conference as a social interaction or exchange of ideas. Your goals are to get out of there, to block everything out, to avoid attention, and to watch sharply for anything fishy. Block out the speakers, just watch the audience. If there’s a debate be quiet and don’t draw attention. If you’re asked to speak, voice weak agreement, be vague, or pick peripheral nits. If you’re asked to participate in group activities go through the motions as unremarkably as you can. At the socials be a bit distant but mostly your usual self when making small talk, but when someone starts discussing one of the conference topics pretend to listen and agree, smile and nod and say “Yes” and “Go on” and “Oh yeah, I liked that part” a lot. Lie like a rug if you must. Watch the social dynamics and the attitudes of everyone and anything that looks like manipulative behavior. You’ll be bored, but don’t try to think about any kind of deep topic, even unrelated (doing math and physics problems in your head are ok, anything with a social or personal component is not). Try to get enough sleep and to eat well. Enjoy the ice cream. Don’t think about anything related to the conference for a couple weeks afterward.
This is only short-term, and it won’t help with your father; you probably want to handle that afterwards separately.