Should I consider it a rationality failure if I exhibit resistance to psychotherapy?
What is this sentence like without the word rationality?
I just cannot map them unto my own experience. My therapist says I’m not giving her enough to work with.
Can you articulate to your therapist why you are having difficulty? It could be that the two of you are not a good match, or it could be that she can work with you, so long as you’re open.
While I’m not very sure that a therapist can or would be sufficiently subtle or insidious to modify me in a direction of which I do not approve, I’m worried that this is a possibility or that it is required in order to get any positive effects out of it.
If you’re good at fixing the parts of yourself that you let yourself fix, you should expect that the thing you would get the most benefit from fixing is likely to be a part of you that you don’t let yourself fix.
My recommendation here is to differentiate long-term and short-term changes. You can make significant changes on a probationary basis, and change them back if they aren’t working out for you.
I’m not sure what a therapist can do to help me out of it.
Broadly:
A narrative shift. Therapy could propose, or help you discover, a narrative that fits your situation but has a more hopeful interpretation.
A mental behavior shift. Therapy could help you identify the beginning of negative spirals, and cut them off before they get too strong.
A social behavior shift. Therapy could help you interact with and relate to people in a different way.
Those three are highly related, and so they can’t really be separated—but it is useful to think of them on different levels.
I’ve never been in therapy, but I find it almost impossible to map certain psychological concepts and questions to coherent internal things. It’s like when someone describes political liberalism as “the belief that government should be bigger”: It’s not total nonsense, but it doesn’t connect with solid, and it’s probably a sign of confusion if you feel that you can give a categorical answer.
Or another way: Trying to apply these concepts to myself feels like asking if some Canadian guy more culturally Japanese or Spanish (extroversion/introversion, high/low self-esteem, inner/outer locus of control, masculine/feminine). I can see that certain percentage of the world population is really clearly Japanese or Spanish, but what’s the meaning of saying this Canadian guy is more Japanese, or even that he’s more Japanese in contexts X, Y, and Z, and more Spanish in environments P, Q, and R?
What is this sentence like without the word rationality?
Purposeless. The very reason I ask this on LessWrong is that I care about being more rational, less biased, more clear-headed etc., and I have some worries that my resistance to psychotherapy is a clue that I’m failing at this. That I have biases I’m clinging to.
Can you articulate to your therapist why you are having difficulty? It could be that the two of you are not a good match, or it could be that she can work with you, so long as you’re open.
The thing is, I don’t have much of a choice. I met her through my cousin and for that reason she agreed to receive me without payment. I can’t afford paid therapy; I have tried another therapist previously and I pretty much spent $40 just to hear that she doesn’t think I’m eligible for psychotherapy. I think I’d have been happier if I had spent the money on meds.
If you’re good at fixing the parts of yourself that you let yourself fix, you should expect that the thing you would get the most benefit from fixing is likely to be a part of you that you don’t let yourself fix.
I didn’t say this originally because it would have been a mouthful, but I’m also sane enough to recognize when a cherished trait of mine is actually maladaptive and self-modify in that direction. I’ve undergone significant changes in recent years, that cannot be solely attributed to “growing up”. I’ve even tried my hand at extraversion, from the starting point of an incurable introvert, because I believed it would get me closer to my goals. (It mostly turned out to be a great way to increase spendings on alcohol and decrease time left for productive pursuits, but maybe I’m not in the right social circle.)
Thanks for expanding on what therapy can do for me.
What is this sentence like without the word rationality?
Can you articulate to your therapist why you are having difficulty? It could be that the two of you are not a good match, or it could be that she can work with you, so long as you’re open.
If you’re good at fixing the parts of yourself that you let yourself fix, you should expect that the thing you would get the most benefit from fixing is likely to be a part of you that you don’t let yourself fix.
My recommendation here is to differentiate long-term and short-term changes. You can make significant changes on a probationary basis, and change them back if they aren’t working out for you.
Broadly:
A narrative shift. Therapy could propose, or help you discover, a narrative that fits your situation but has a more hopeful interpretation.
A mental behavior shift. Therapy could help you identify the beginning of negative spirals, and cut them off before they get too strong.
A social behavior shift. Therapy could help you interact with and relate to people in a different way.
Those three are highly related, and so they can’t really be separated—but it is useful to think of them on different levels.
(Not the OP, but musing on part of this)
I’ve never been in therapy, but I find it almost impossible to map certain psychological concepts and questions to coherent internal things. It’s like when someone describes political liberalism as “the belief that government should be bigger”: It’s not total nonsense, but it doesn’t connect with solid, and it’s probably a sign of confusion if you feel that you can give a categorical answer.
Or another way: Trying to apply these concepts to myself feels like asking if some Canadian guy more culturally Japanese or Spanish (extroversion/introversion, high/low self-esteem, inner/outer locus of control, masculine/feminine). I can see that certain percentage of the world population is really clearly Japanese or Spanish, but what’s the meaning of saying this Canadian guy is more Japanese, or even that he’s more Japanese in contexts X, Y, and Z, and more Spanish in environments P, Q, and R?
Purposeless. The very reason I ask this on LessWrong is that I care about being more rational, less biased, more clear-headed etc., and I have some worries that my resistance to psychotherapy is a clue that I’m failing at this. That I have biases I’m clinging to.
The thing is, I don’t have much of a choice. I met her through my cousin and for that reason she agreed to receive me without payment. I can’t afford paid therapy; I have tried another therapist previously and I pretty much spent $40 just to hear that she doesn’t think I’m eligible for psychotherapy. I think I’d have been happier if I had spent the money on meds.
I didn’t say this originally because it would have been a mouthful, but I’m also sane enough to recognize when a cherished trait of mine is actually maladaptive and self-modify in that direction. I’ve undergone significant changes in recent years, that cannot be solely attributed to “growing up”. I’ve even tried my hand at extraversion, from the starting point of an incurable introvert, because I believed it would get me closer to my goals. (It mostly turned out to be a great way to increase spendings on alcohol and decrease time left for productive pursuits, but maybe I’m not in the right social circle.)
Thanks for expanding on what therapy can do for me.