Well, if you would have started with the less attractive girls, you could have gained more confidence and experience and slowly progress towards the more attractive ones. Imagine a parallel universe where you did exactly that. Which one of these universes would you rather be in, now?
(I am not sure if “starting here, then progressing there” was a part of the original advice, but I am trying to be charitable here. It is not necessarily a bad advice, maybe just not explained sufficiently.)
Also, the “fat and ugly” doesn’t have to be taken into extreme. There are many average girls without boyfriends simply because the boys around them fight for the few most attractive ones. Some of those boys will lose in the competition, and those who win will often get a spoiled princess that will probably cheat on them soon because she will get many attractive offers.
If you go for “average in attractiveness, but has a few traits that I personally prefer (traits that are not generally popular; such as being a nerd)”, you can get rather close to the optimal outcome… and yet as an overconfident young guy this would probable seem to you like settling down, because you imagine getting a princess plus the traits you personally prefer. Which is not impossible, just less likely, especially if are not one of the most attractive guys. (Similar advice applies to women, too; and most of them also hate to hear it.)
Well, if you would have started with the less attractive girls, you could have gained more confidence and experience and slowly progress towards the more attractive ones.
If only my mother had told me that. She could have said, ask out the average looking girls, preferably ones within a range of healthy weight, and then when you get your experience and confidence built up, try working your way up. And I would have found that advice helpful and constructive, and a signal that Mom thought that I had a shot at getting some of the better things in life.
No, in the context she meant that she thought I didn’t deserve any better. When I told this story to my friends at the time who had met my mother, they came away with the same impression. Decades later Mom wonders why I never had a girlfriend, I never got married and she doesn’t have any grandchildren.
Mom’s advice made no sense for another reason: How could I get sexual experience with fat and ugly women if the physiology on my end refused to cooperate?
All along I would have wanted to have some sexual experiences with average looking, even “nerdy,” women. But apparently in this iteration of the Matrix I had an unreasonable goal. So in my 50′s I have to budget money for a trip to a legal bordello in Nevada.
Well, if you would have started with the less attractive girls, you could have gained more confidence and experience and slowly progress towards the more attractive ones. Imagine a parallel universe where you did exactly that. Which one of these universes would you rather be in, now?
(I am not sure if “starting here, then progressing there” was a part of the original advice, but I am trying to be charitable here. It is not necessarily a bad advice, maybe just not explained sufficiently.)
Also, the “fat and ugly” doesn’t have to be taken into extreme. There are many average girls without boyfriends simply because the boys around them fight for the few most attractive ones. Some of those boys will lose in the competition, and those who win will often get a spoiled princess that will probably cheat on them soon because she will get many attractive offers.
If you go for “average in attractiveness, but has a few traits that I personally prefer (traits that are not generally popular; such as being a nerd)”, you can get rather close to the optimal outcome… and yet as an overconfident young guy this would probable seem to you like settling down, because you imagine getting a princess plus the traits you personally prefer. Which is not impossible, just less likely, especially if are not one of the most attractive guys. (Similar advice applies to women, too; and most of them also hate to hear it.)
If only my mother had told me that. She could have said, ask out the average looking girls, preferably ones within a range of healthy weight, and then when you get your experience and confidence built up, try working your way up. And I would have found that advice helpful and constructive, and a signal that Mom thought that I had a shot at getting some of the better things in life.
No, in the context she meant that she thought I didn’t deserve any better. When I told this story to my friends at the time who had met my mother, they came away with the same impression. Decades later Mom wonders why I never had a girlfriend, I never got married and she doesn’t have any grandchildren.
Mom’s advice made no sense for another reason: How could I get sexual experience with fat and ugly women if the physiology on my end refused to cooperate?
All along I would have wanted to have some sexual experiences with average looking, even “nerdy,” women. But apparently in this iteration of the Matrix I had an unreasonable goal. So in my 50′s I have to budget money for a trip to a legal bordello in Nevada.