Any friends in different time zones? Oops, USA probably wouldn’t work because 12:00 in Vienna = 3 AM in San Francisco. You would probably need someone in India or China. Okay, this is probably not a good idea. On the other hand, maybe you could pay someone in India to talk with you.
Other friends who are also moms at home? Former classmates?
This happens? I guess then we must not be very social people. Friend is a matter of definition, there is one non-relative who relatively frequently calls her the phone, for me that is zero but OK as never pick up the phone anyway, and she has about two, I have about three non-relatives who reply to emails or facebook messages although rarely initiate the exchange themselves. I guess these people can be considered friends, but the definition may vary. In my experience, socializing with people at work does not carry over into socializing after work, I think people guard their privacy rather jealously and we too, I remember two occasions in five years non-relatives entering our apartment and it felt awkward for both. For this reason, as socializing with coworkers does not carry over into evenings, and not really having hobbies or meeting people after work, the people mentioned above who can be defined as friends are former classmates, and as we approach 40 that kind of number naturally reduces.
This is why it is very important to not stay home from work. BTW my mothers case was exactly the same in the 1980′s, staying at home and occasionally talking on the phone with 1-2 ex-classmates, so she welcomed when she was offered to open a fast food stand and talk to customers. Socializing at work and being home with the family in the evening and weekends can be a tolerable combination. No idea what would be more than tolerable, I always figured it is more natural to hang with relatives, perhaps kinship based tribes should be reinvented. (Not necessarily about “blood”, but more about having shared role models and so on.)
What? Having friends, or having friends in different time zones?
a) Yes, it does.
b) In general population, I would guess it doesn’t; unless there are specific circumstances, e.g. your relatives moved to a different part of the planet. But here on LessWrong we have an international community, and some people visit meetups in different countries. There are probably only a few who have travelled to a sufficiently distant time zone. But you don’t have to be one of those; only to be a friend with one of those.
Friend is a matter of definition
Sure; if we taboo “friends” it means something like “people whom you trust enough to do together X”. For different values of X you get different sets of people. (X = “have fun together” or X = “start a conspiracy to overthrow the government”)
In my experience, socializing with people at work does not carry over into socializing after work
Similar for me, 2 exceptions in 20 years.
I usually socialize with my neighbors, with people I have or had some hobby in common (such as LessWrong), and sometimes I meet friends of my friends and they become my friends.
Of course with my neighbors the expectations are low: generally just being nice to each other in case someone will need a little help from the other, and to keep communication lines ready in case there will be a shared problem to solve. Saying hello to each other, bringing cookies, sharing a glass of wine once in a few months. With people I found through my hobby I expect to talk about the hobby, and later about other topics; and if the relations are good, maybe even spend some vacation together.
I always figured it is more natural to hang with relatives, perhaps kinship based tribes should be reinvented
I was thinking along similar lines once, but almost everyone from my family lives in a different city than me, so it’s not an option. But generally, “relatives” and “friends” are two different categories; I cannot realistically expect my relatives to have similar hobies as I do. With them, it is a different way of spending time; just being together, being a tribe. With friends, it is talking about hobbies, making hobby-related plans, and later also being a kind of a tribe—though this part is more difficult because “clicking together as friends” is less transitive relation than “being related by blood”. There are many situations where I am friends with X and Y, but X and Y do not like each other. (So I cannot convert “having 2 friends” into “having a tribe with 3 members”.)
Any friends in different time zones? Oops, USA probably wouldn’t work because 12:00 in Vienna = 3 AM in San Francisco. You would probably need someone in India or China. Okay, this is probably not a good idea. On the other hand, maybe you could pay someone in India to talk with you.
Other friends who are also moms at home? Former classmates?
This happens? I guess then we must not be very social people. Friend is a matter of definition, there is one non-relative who relatively frequently calls her the phone, for me that is zero but OK as never pick up the phone anyway, and she has about two, I have about three non-relatives who reply to emails or facebook messages although rarely initiate the exchange themselves. I guess these people can be considered friends, but the definition may vary. In my experience, socializing with people at work does not carry over into socializing after work, I think people guard their privacy rather jealously and we too, I remember two occasions in five years non-relatives entering our apartment and it felt awkward for both. For this reason, as socializing with coworkers does not carry over into evenings, and not really having hobbies or meeting people after work, the people mentioned above who can be defined as friends are former classmates, and as we approach 40 that kind of number naturally reduces.
This is why it is very important to not stay home from work. BTW my mothers case was exactly the same in the 1980′s, staying at home and occasionally talking on the phone with 1-2 ex-classmates, so she welcomed when she was offered to open a fast food stand and talk to customers. Socializing at work and being home with the family in the evening and weekends can be a tolerable combination. No idea what would be more than tolerable, I always figured it is more natural to hang with relatives, perhaps kinship based tribes should be reinvented. (Not necessarily about “blood”, but more about having shared role models and so on.)
What? Having friends, or having friends in different time zones?
a) Yes, it does.
b) In general population, I would guess it doesn’t; unless there are specific circumstances, e.g. your relatives moved to a different part of the planet. But here on LessWrong we have an international community, and some people visit meetups in different countries. There are probably only a few who have travelled to a sufficiently distant time zone. But you don’t have to be one of those; only to be a friend with one of those.
Sure; if we taboo “friends” it means something like “people whom you trust enough to do together X”. For different values of X you get different sets of people. (X = “have fun together” or X = “start a conspiracy to overthrow the government”)
Similar for me, 2 exceptions in 20 years.
I usually socialize with my neighbors, with people I have or had some hobby in common (such as LessWrong), and sometimes I meet friends of my friends and they become my friends.
Of course with my neighbors the expectations are low: generally just being nice to each other in case someone will need a little help from the other, and to keep communication lines ready in case there will be a shared problem to solve. Saying hello to each other, bringing cookies, sharing a glass of wine once in a few months. With people I found through my hobby I expect to talk about the hobby, and later about other topics; and if the relations are good, maybe even spend some vacation together.
I was thinking along similar lines once, but almost everyone from my family lives in a different city than me, so it’s not an option. But generally, “relatives” and “friends” are two different categories; I cannot realistically expect my relatives to have similar hobies as I do. With them, it is a different way of spending time; just being together, being a tribe. With friends, it is talking about hobbies, making hobby-related plans, and later also being a kind of a tribe—though this part is more difficult because “clicking together as friends” is less transitive relation than “being related by blood”. There are many situations where I am friends with X and Y, but X and Y do not like each other. (So I cannot convert “having 2 friends” into “having a tribe with 3 members”.)
I’ve seen occasional suggestions that extended families are having a renaissance in the UK & US, if that counts.