With regards to the side note on religion, that sounds fairly similar to my own upbringing. My dad was fairly nonreligious, maybe deism is the right word. Haven’t talked about it with him all that much, but definitely not Christian. My mom, on the other hand, is quite religious. Not a fundamentalist, she’s a biologist and believes in evolution, etc, but still definitely gave me and my brother religion. I can’t say that that was fantastic, but I started being a rationalist as I transitioned from a Christian to an atheist. If your wife is raising your kids religious, they might yet get some benefits from it, even if it’s not what your wife intended. Emphasis on might, though.
Thanks for the additional comments. Yes, it’s a tricky question. She seems to have shifted from a “Definitely will raise religious” to “Will simply do what I do and if they ask about it (e.g. what prayer is, god, etc.) then I’ll tell them what I believe.” We’ll see how this plays out, but I think telling them about (if that’s really what she does) will be a far stretch better than instructing them on or teaching as fact. Does that make sense?
I’m glad this happened, as I was in a tough spot. I tended to think that my options were a) both teach equally that our positions were true, b) me let my wife teach religion and I say nothing, and c) teach proven rational tools but not anything about religion.
I thought c) was by far the best option, but also thought a) would have been more harmful than b). I don’t think whiplashing a kid between two sides at young ages would have been helpful. It seems we’ve migrated toward c, which is great.
There’s my off-topic ramble for you—thanks for your comments.
Happy to help.
With regards to the side note on religion, that sounds fairly similar to my own upbringing. My dad was fairly nonreligious, maybe deism is the right word. Haven’t talked about it with him all that much, but definitely not Christian. My mom, on the other hand, is quite religious. Not a fundamentalist, she’s a biologist and believes in evolution, etc, but still definitely gave me and my brother religion. I can’t say that that was fantastic, but I started being a rationalist as I transitioned from a Christian to an atheist. If your wife is raising your kids religious, they might yet get some benefits from it, even if it’s not what your wife intended. Emphasis on might, though.
Thanks for the additional comments. Yes, it’s a tricky question. She seems to have shifted from a “Definitely will raise religious” to “Will simply do what I do and if they ask about it (e.g. what prayer is, god, etc.) then I’ll tell them what I believe.” We’ll see how this plays out, but I think telling them about (if that’s really what she does) will be a far stretch better than instructing them on or teaching as fact. Does that make sense?
I’m glad this happened, as I was in a tough spot. I tended to think that my options were a) both teach equally that our positions were true, b) me let my wife teach religion and I say nothing, and c) teach proven rational tools but not anything about religion.
I thought c) was by far the best option, but also thought a) would have been more harmful than b). I don’t think whiplashing a kid between two sides at young ages would have been helpful. It seems we’ve migrated toward c, which is great.
There’s my off-topic ramble for you—thanks for your comments.