I think this is just one particular subcase of “strong urges are hard not to follow” (other examples: cravings for food one knows is long-term unhealthy; some instances of procrastination (choosing a short-term fun activity over a long-term beneficial one when you don’t endorse that); sexual arousal (separate from romantic feelings); being tired/sleepy when you endorse doing stuff that requires overriding that). It certainly is a notable subcase of that, though. I’ve sometimes described having crushes as having my utility function hijacked (though in a way I usually endorse—I tend to be pretty aligned across versions of myself on this axis).
Hmm. I do think it’s interesting to compare this to other strong-cravings, I agree it shares similarity there.
I think what makes limerence stand out to me here is that it’s not a default part of my day-to-day life. While small-bouts of attraction/lust might come up fairly frequently, mutual attraction is rare enough, and intense/punctuated enough, that I (and others I’ve seen) are more “caught off guard” than they are with hunger.
I think this is just one particular subcase of “strong urges are hard not to follow” (other examples: cravings for food one knows is long-term unhealthy; some instances of procrastination (choosing a short-term fun activity over a long-term beneficial one when you don’t endorse that); sexual arousal (separate from romantic feelings); being tired/sleepy when you endorse doing stuff that requires overriding that). It certainly is a notable subcase of that, though. I’ve sometimes described having crushes as having my utility function hijacked (though in a way I usually endorse—I tend to be pretty aligned across versions of myself on this axis).
Hmm. I do think it’s interesting to compare this to other strong-cravings, I agree it shares similarity there.
I think what makes limerence stand out to me here is that it’s not a default part of my day-to-day life. While small-bouts of attraction/lust might come up fairly frequently, mutual attraction is rare enough, and intense/punctuated enough, that I (and others I’ve seen) are more “caught off guard” than they are with hunger.