I just want to register that there are things I feel like I couldn’t have realistically learned about my partner in an amount of time short enough to precede the event horizon, and that my partner and I have changed each other in ways past the horizon that could be due to limerence but could also just be good old-fashioned positive personal change for reasonable reasons, and that I suspect that the takeaway here is not necessarily to attempt to make final romantic decisions before reaching the horizon, but that you will only be fully informed past the horizon, and that is just the hand that Nature has dealt you. I don’t necessarily think you disagree with that but wanted to write that in case you did.
I mostly had been thinking about stuff that’s more like “metadata about your situation, and very obvious things about your partner.” I’m not suggesting hold off on every relationship until you’ve, like, had time to vet it thoroughly with your System 2 brain.
I just want to register that there are things I feel like I couldn’t have realistically learned about my partner in an amount of time short enough to precede the event horizon, and that my partner and I have changed each other in ways past the horizon that could be due to limerence but could also just be good old-fashioned positive personal change for reasonable reasons, and that I suspect that the takeaway here is not necessarily to attempt to make final romantic decisions before reaching the horizon, but that you will only be fully informed past the horizon, and that is just the hand that Nature has dealt you. I don’t necessarily think you disagree with that but wanted to write that in case you did.
I mostly had been thinking about stuff that’s more like “metadata about your situation, and very obvious things about your partner.” I’m not suggesting hold off on every relationship until you’ve, like, had time to vet it thoroughly with your System 2 brain.