come up with a concrete example of that skill being used successfully;
“It sure seems I can’t get up. Yet this looks a lot like laziness or attention-whoring. No-no-I’m-not-this-can’t-be-STOP. Yes, there is a real possibility I could get up but am telling myself I can’t, and I should take that into account. But upon introspection, and trying to move the damn things, it does feel like I can’t, which is strong evidence.
So I’m going to figure out some tests. Maybe see a doctor; try to invoke reflexes that would make me move (careful, voluntary movement can truly fail even if reflexes don’t); ask some trusted people, telling them the whole truth. Importantly, I’m going to refuse to use it as an excuse to slack off. I can crawl!”
crawls to nearest pile of homework, and works lying prone, occasionally trying to get up
decompose that use to a 5-second-level description of perceptual classifications and emotion-evoking contexts and associative triggers to actionable procedures;
try to move legs, fail
compare with expectation (possibly verbalizing it “Those are legs. They’re used to move around.”, more likely not), be surprised
recognize this as an obstacle to reaching a goal, thwarting the “decide to work ⇒ get up ⇒ walk to desk ⇒ sit down ⇒ work” chain
recognize this obstacle as unusual and un/insufficiently planned for
pattern-match “weird obstacle” to “overly convenient excuse”
automatically think “No, other people use convenient excuses, but I don’t, I’m sincere”
recognize this as wishful thinking (re: self-image)
accept the unpleasant hypotheses as possible (this looks litany-of-Gendlin-ish); “I do not want to be a lazy attention whore, but believing I am not won’t help”—ick reaction to the process of rejecting the thought before reflecting on it in detail, flinch towards the painful thought
recognize you have a hypothesis to test; do a little dance and exclaim “yay, science!”
look for ways to test the hypothesis, as triggered by the recognition
implement easy tests, note others for later use
mark this train of thought with a little [closed] tag
go back to the original problem (easy in this example, since the awkward position triggers it)
examine the overly convenient excuse and check what it excuses from
feel a jolt of determination (“Oh yeah? You think you can stop me?”) and look for roundabout ways to reach your goal anyway, partially out of spite and competitiveness
implement one of these ways
feel good about being The Determinator
optionally, reconsider the “I’m a lazy attention whore” hypothesis in light of the (totally rigged) test; move probability mass away from it towards “I have a legitimate problem, which I’m totally overcoming because I’m awesome” and “Sure I am, but look, I’m recovering”; award self a gold star
For a problem previously but rarely encountered, this takes about 5 seconds. For completely new problems it takes longer in tests, and there are a few more steps battling fear.
check your description to make sure that each part of it can be visualized as a concrete mental process and that there are no non-actionable abstract chunks;
Tricky; mental events are hard to visualize. I think “check what it excuses from” is the vaguest step (but it’s not a crucial one, anyway), it could be done in more than one way.
come up with a teaching exercise which seems like it ought to cause those 5-second events to occur in people’s minds;
Steps that need teaching:
pattern-match “weird obstacle” to “overly convenient excuse”
recognize this as wishful thinking (re: self-image)
accept the unpleasant hypotheses as possible (this looks litany-of-Gendlin-ish); “I do not want to be a lazy attention whore, but believing I am not won’t help”—ick reaction to the process of rejecting the thought before reflecting on it in detail, flinch towards the painful thought
feel a jolt of determination (“Oh yeah? You think you can stop me?”) and look for roundabout ways to reach your goal anyway, partially out of spite and competitiveness
The first is easiest to learn. Show people a lot of cases where people use convenient excuses. Hell, most people probably overfit here, look at all the disabled people told they’re just lazy.
The second is crucial. It can be taught with a stern teacher; student describes their life to the teacher, and whenever something looks like self-deception (“No, really, I’m not gay, I just have sex with men sometimes, and of course I don’t look at women, that would be cheating on my wife”) the teacher calls their bluff. (Is this what therapy does?) That demands a lot of time and trust.
For a more self-teaching route, maybe try to explain every one of your behaviors with a bad character trait, rather than circumstance or a good trait. Might feel too fake, though. At least, reflect upon behavior that looks bad, even if you have good private reasons for it. The point of this step is to notice the possibility you have a bad trait, not to test it.
The third step is to accept it once noticed. I would go with two sets of exercises. One set teaches general flinching towards pain, like talking to strangers and walking on the roofs of tall buildings and resisting delicious cake. The second teaches singlethink; an obvious method is to write down all thoughts and notice flinches away from painful thoughts and rationalizations, and face them squarely, both immediately (with a set topic) and over time. Also, recite the litanies, and freak yourself out with horror stories of self-deception. This may well take more than five seconds for beginners, but I’ve found it becomes near-instant with comparatively little training.
The fourth step is rather me-specific. You may prefer other attitudes like “I’m so clever!” or “Okay, I noticed, moving on” or “Other people have it so much worse, how dare I whine”.
There are standard exercises to teach determination. Pick your favorite shounen character, and use him or her (okay, him) as a role model—what would Edward Elric do? Use motivators liberally, and have a laugh when you outdo them (as in my example; Courage Wolf thinks paralysis is an excuse).
Facing Reality, applied to self-knowledge
“It sure seems I can’t get up. Yet this looks a lot like laziness or attention-whoring. No-no-I’m-not-this-can’t-be-STOP. Yes, there is a real possibility I could get up but am telling myself I can’t, and I should take that into account. But upon introspection, and trying to move the damn things, it does feel like I can’t, which is strong evidence.
So I’m going to figure out some tests. Maybe see a doctor; try to invoke reflexes that would make me move (careful, voluntary movement can truly fail even if reflexes don’t); ask some trusted people, telling them the whole truth. Importantly, I’m going to refuse to use it as an excuse to slack off. I can crawl!”
crawls to nearest pile of homework, and works lying prone, occasionally trying to get up
try to move legs, fail
compare with expectation (possibly verbalizing it “Those are legs. They’re used to move around.”, more likely not), be surprised
recognize this as an obstacle to reaching a goal, thwarting the “decide to work ⇒ get up ⇒ walk to desk ⇒ sit down ⇒ work” chain
recognize this obstacle as unusual and un/insufficiently planned for
pattern-match “weird obstacle” to “overly convenient excuse”
automatically think “No, other people use convenient excuses, but I don’t, I’m sincere”
recognize this as wishful thinking (re: self-image)
accept the unpleasant hypotheses as possible (this looks litany-of-Gendlin-ish); “I do not want to be a lazy attention whore, but believing I am not won’t help”—ick reaction to the process of rejecting the thought before reflecting on it in detail, flinch towards the painful thought
recognize you have a hypothesis to test; do a little dance and exclaim “yay, science!”
look for ways to test the hypothesis, as triggered by the recognition
implement easy tests, note others for later use
mark this train of thought with a little [closed] tag
go back to the original problem (easy in this example, since the awkward position triggers it)
examine the overly convenient excuse and check what it excuses from
feel a jolt of determination (“Oh yeah? You think you can stop me?”) and look for roundabout ways to reach your goal anyway, partially out of spite and competitiveness
implement one of these ways
feel good about being The Determinator
optionally, reconsider the “I’m a lazy attention whore” hypothesis in light of the (totally rigged) test; move probability mass away from it towards “I have a legitimate problem, which I’m totally overcoming because I’m awesome” and “Sure I am, but look, I’m recovering”; award self a gold star
For a problem previously but rarely encountered, this takes about 5 seconds. For completely new problems it takes longer in tests, and there are a few more steps battling fear.
Tricky; mental events are hard to visualize. I think “check what it excuses from” is the vaguest step (but it’s not a crucial one, anyway), it could be done in more than one way.
Steps that need teaching:
pattern-match “weird obstacle” to “overly convenient excuse”
recognize this as wishful thinking (re: self-image)
accept the unpleasant hypotheses as possible (this looks litany-of-Gendlin-ish); “I do not want to be a lazy attention whore, but believing I am not won’t help”—ick reaction to the process of rejecting the thought before reflecting on it in detail, flinch towards the painful thought
feel a jolt of determination (“Oh yeah? You think you can stop me?”) and look for roundabout ways to reach your goal anyway, partially out of spite and competitiveness
The first is easiest to learn. Show people a lot of cases where people use convenient excuses. Hell, most people probably overfit here, look at all the disabled people told they’re just lazy.
The second is crucial. It can be taught with a stern teacher; student describes their life to the teacher, and whenever something looks like self-deception (“No, really, I’m not gay, I just have sex with men sometimes, and of course I don’t look at women, that would be cheating on my wife”) the teacher calls their bluff. (Is this what therapy does?) That demands a lot of time and trust.
For a more self-teaching route, maybe try to explain every one of your behaviors with a bad character trait, rather than circumstance or a good trait. Might feel too fake, though. At least, reflect upon behavior that looks bad, even if you have good private reasons for it. The point of this step is to notice the possibility you have a bad trait, not to test it.
The third step is to accept it once noticed. I would go with two sets of exercises. One set teaches general flinching towards pain, like talking to strangers and walking on the roofs of tall buildings and resisting delicious cake. The second teaches singlethink; an obvious method is to write down all thoughts and notice flinches away from painful thoughts and rationalizations, and face them squarely, both immediately (with a set topic) and over time. Also, recite the litanies, and freak yourself out with horror stories of self-deception. This may well take more than five seconds for beginners, but I’ve found it becomes near-instant with comparatively little training.
The fourth step is rather me-specific. You may prefer other attitudes like “I’m so clever!” or “Okay, I noticed, moving on” or “Other people have it so much worse, how dare I whine”.
There are standard exercises to teach determination. Pick your favorite shounen character, and use him or her (okay, him) as a role model—what would Edward Elric do? Use motivators liberally, and have a laugh when you outdo them (as in my example; Courage Wolf thinks paralysis is an excuse).