It’s funny. I’ve had friends make confident statements that I was missing something quite stupid, with a smirk in their voice, and it felt good because they were right. A friend pointing out something I was missing felt good and safe, and necessary, because no one can catch everything and everyone has blind spots, especially when they’re upset.
So while “have you tried...?” or “what do you think about...?” are marginal improvements over “you should...”, they’re not getting at what I really want, which is highly skilled people who have my back.
It’s funny. I’ve had friends make confident statements that I was missing something quite stupid, with a smirk in their voice, and it felt good because they were right. A friend pointing out something I was missing felt good and safe, and necessary, because no one can catch everything and everyone has blind spots, especially when they’re upset.
So while “have you tried...?” or “what do you think about...?” are marginal improvements over “you should...”, they’re not getting at what I really want, which is highly skilled people who have my back.