There are also a lot of norms about avoiding physical contact with other people. A therapist is supposed to work on the mind and that doesn’t mean just hugging a person for a minute. I can imagine a society in which casual touches between people are a lot more intimate than they are nowadays and behavior between males that a conversative American would label as homosexual would be default social behavior between friends.
This futuristic society of casual male intimacy was known as the 19th century.
In it, the Russia of the 1950s and the modern Middle East you could observe men dancing together, holding hands, cuddling, sleeping together and kissing.
More generally, ISTM that displays of affection between heterosexual men correlate negatively with homophobia within each society but positively across societies. (That’s because the higher your prior probability for X is, the more evidence I need to provide to convince you that not-X.)
If I look at that description it seems to me that the current way of seeing homosexuality won’t be permanent.
It seems being homesexual became a separate identity to the extend that people focused in not engaging in certain kinds of intimacy to signal that they aren’t gay.
If the stigma against homosexuality disappears, homosexuality as identity might disappear the same way.
The word homosexuality is even in decline in google ngrams.
There’s a distinction occasionally drawn between homosexual and gay; homosexual is the sexual preference, gay is the cultural lump/stereotype populated mainly by homosexuals. So the ‘metrosexual’ thing in the early 00s was a kind of fad for heterosexual men adopting gay culture.
This distinction is mainly drawn to point out that the political right’s objection is largely to ‘gay’ rather than to ‘homosexual’.
Under this distinction: Men who prefer to have sex with men rather than women are homosexual. Men who prefer to have sex with women rather than men are heterosexual.
Prison sex may be homosexual (that’s a matter of fuzzy definitions), but (under this distinction) definitely isn’t gay.
This distinction is mainly drawn to point out that the political right’s objection is largely to ‘gay’ rather than to ‘homosexual’.
No the political right’s objection is to people engaging in homosexual sex and to popular culture telling people this is a normal and healthy thing to do. The subtler objection is to it telling people that if they find 19th century style male bonding appealing it means that they’re “gay” and should thus engage in homosexual sex.
I see no reason to believe that is the case; gay culture, by its nature of growing out of highly-liberal communties during the 60s and 70s, is highly hedonistic and permissive, both things the political right objects to already. That they strongly dislike (perceived) core attributes of this culture and the associated homosexuality looks like a strictly simpler hypothesis than that they dislike (perceived) core attributes of this culture, and also homosexuality.
In short: Occam appears to be on my side, so you’ll need some evidence for that.
Read what traditionalists actually write for one thing. They’re against hedonistic behaviors and that includes homosexual sex (this is not the only reason they’re against it). Notice that this was true long before the current cultural concept of what it means to “act gay”.
The subtler objection is to it telling people that if they find 19th century style male bonding appealing it means that they’re “gay” and should thus engage in homosexual sex.
What? ISTM it’s right-wingers who say things like that. EDIT: I guess I had misread that (I had read “should” as ‘are likely to’ rather than ‘had better’), in which case… what??? I can’t remember anyone ever suggesting anything remotely like that with a straight face, and I know plenty of left-wingers; are you sure you aren’t attacking a straw man?
I guess I had misread that (I had read “should” as ‘are likely to’ rather than ‘had better’), in which case… what??? I can’t remember anyone ever suggesting anything remotely like that with a straight face,
They tend to phrase it as encouraging people to “find out if they’re gay”, i.e., encourage people to declare themselves “gay” if what amounts to 19th century style male bonding appeals to them. Furthermore, once someone has been declared “gay” it’s considered a horrendous hate crime to discourage him from engaging in homosexual sex.
They tend to phrase it as encouraging people to “find out if they’re gay”, i.e., encourage people to declare themselves “gay” if what amounts to 19th century style male bonding appeals to them.
Never heard that either.
Furthermore, once someone has been declared “gay” it’s considered a horrendous hate crime to discourage him from engaging in homosexual sex.
And once someone has been declared “straight” it’s considered a horrendous hate crime to discourage him from engaging in heterosexual sex (except by fundamentalist Christians and the like, but that also applies to gay sex), so what’s your point?
And once someone has been declared “straight” it’s considered a horrendous hate crime to discourage him from engaging in heterosexual sex
Encouraging “gays” to become “straight” is considered a hate crime, encouraging “straights” to become “gay” is framed as encouraging them to “find out if they’re gay” and considered commendable.
Also, at least in the US, encouraging “straights” to hold of until marriage is considered old fashioned but not nearly as bad as attempting to deconvert “gays”. The latter has in fact been made illegal in California.
encouraging “straights” to become “gay” is framed as encouraging them to “find out if they’re gay” and considered commendable.
What the hell are you talking about? AFAICT nearly all straight people I know would find such an, ahem, encouragement quite annoying at the very best, and most of them would be utterly disgusted by it. “I’m flattered, but I’m straight” said with a poker face is about as positive a reaction as I’d ever anticipate seeing.
You and Eugine seem to be talking past one another;
He’s saying that society tends to see it as (at worst) a bit of a faux pas for a gay man to try to get a straight to switch teams whereas a gay converter is one step off from an SS officer in terms of the hatred they get.
You, on the other hand, seem to be talking about how annoyed straight guys get when being harassed by gays trying to convert them, and presumably vice versa. That people get pissed off, with good reason, when people try to dictate terms to them on whom they desire.
Oddly enough, both of you are right. It is much more acceptable for gay men to be “straight chasers” and try to get straight guys to “come out” than it is for Christians to be “deconverters” and try to get gay guys to “find Jesus,” at least everywhere I’ve lived (admittedly, my favorite cities tend to be pretty deep blue). People confronted with this kind of obnoxious behavior don’t appreciate it in either case, but the straight guy has to be a lot more careful not to say anything “offensive” to the guy grabbing him (God forbid throwing a punch) than the gay guy who can tell the pastor to go to hell and walk off with the full force of the law / media behind him.
There seems to be a pretty big asymmetry here that you’re ignoring. Christian “deconverters” aren’t simply saying “Hey, why don’t you try straight sex? You might end up enjoying it.” They’re saying “There is something deeply wrong with your sexual orientation and you will suffer eternally unless you sincerely attempt to change it.” I doubt that attempts to convert straight men result in higher rates of depression or suicide among them.
The appropriate analog of the gay “straight chasers” you’re talking about would be a straight woman who attempts to “convert” gay guys by, say, trying to convince them to sleep with her, maybe because she likes the challenge. Do you think such a person would also be seen as one step off from an SS officer?
The appropriate analog of the gay “straight chasers” you’re talking about would be a straight woman who attempts to “convert” gay guys by, say, trying to convince them to sleep with her, maybe because she likes the challenge. Do you think such a person would also be seen as one step off from an SS officer?
BTW, IME straight men who manage to convince lesbians to sleep with them usually inspire awe, not disgust. (I can’t think of any concrete examples of the gender-reversed situation, which you described.)
This futuristic society of casual male intimacy was known as the 19th century.
In it, the Russia of the 1950s and the modern Middle East you could observe men dancing together, holding hands, cuddling, sleeping together and kissing.
More generally, ISTM that displays of affection between heterosexual men correlate negatively with homophobia within each society but positively across societies. (That’s because the higher your prior probability for X is, the more evidence I need to provide to convince you that not-X.)
If I look at that description it seems to me that the current way of seeing homosexuality won’t be permanent.
It seems being homesexual became a separate identity to the extend that people focused in not engaging in certain kinds of intimacy to signal that they aren’t gay.
If the stigma against homosexuality disappears, homosexuality as identity might disappear the same way.
The word homosexuality is even in decline in google ngrams.
There’s a distinction occasionally drawn between homosexual and gay; homosexual is the sexual preference, gay is the cultural lump/stereotype populated mainly by homosexuals. So the ‘metrosexual’ thing in the early 00s was a kind of fad for heterosexual men adopting gay culture.
This distinction is mainly drawn to point out that the political right’s objection is largely to ‘gay’ rather than to ‘homosexual’.
What does “sexual preference” mean exactly?
Do you mean that the criminals in prisons who rape other criminals are gay but not homosexual?
Are you implying that neither or the terms is actually about whether a man has sexs with another man?
Under this distinction: Men who prefer to have sex with men rather than women are homosexual. Men who prefer to have sex with women rather than men are heterosexual.
Prison sex may be homosexual (that’s a matter of fuzzy definitions), but (under this distinction) definitely isn’t gay.
No the political right’s objection is to people engaging in homosexual sex and to popular culture telling people this is a normal and healthy thing to do. The subtler objection is to it telling people that if they find 19th century style male bonding appealing it means that they’re “gay” and should thus engage in homosexual sex.
I see no reason to believe that is the case; gay culture, by its nature of growing out of highly-liberal communties during the 60s and 70s, is highly hedonistic and permissive, both things the political right objects to already. That they strongly dislike (perceived) core attributes of this culture and the associated homosexuality looks like a strictly simpler hypothesis than that they dislike (perceived) core attributes of this culture, and also homosexuality.
In short: Occam appears to be on my side, so you’ll need some evidence for that.
Read what traditionalists actually write for one thing. They’re against hedonistic behaviors and that includes homosexual sex (this is not the only reason they’re against it). Notice that this was true long before the current cultural concept of what it means to “act gay”.
Taboo that word. Is being left-handed normal?
ISTM the point of that word is often to sneak connotations in.
What? ISTM it’s right-wingers who say things like that. EDIT: I guess I had misread that (I had read “should” as ‘are likely to’ rather than ‘had better’), in which case… what??? I can’t remember anyone ever suggesting anything remotely like that with a straight face, and I know plenty of left-wingers; are you sure you aren’t attacking a straw man?
They tend to phrase it as encouraging people to “find out if they’re gay”, i.e., encourage people to declare themselves “gay” if what amounts to 19th century style male bonding appeals to them. Furthermore, once someone has been declared “gay” it’s considered a horrendous hate crime to discourage him from engaging in homosexual sex.
Never heard that either.
And once someone has been declared “straight” it’s considered a horrendous hate crime to discourage him from engaging in heterosexual sex (except by fundamentalist Christians and the like, but that also applies to gay sex), so what’s your point?
Encouraging “gays” to become “straight” is considered a hate crime, encouraging “straights” to become “gay” is framed as encouraging them to “find out if they’re gay” and considered commendable.
Also, at least in the US, encouraging “straights” to hold of until marriage is considered old fashioned but not nearly as bad as attempting to deconvert “gays”. The latter has in fact been made illegal in California.
What the hell are you talking about? AFAICT nearly all straight people I know would find such an, ahem, encouragement quite annoying at the very best, and most of them would be utterly disgusted by it. “I’m flattered, but I’m straight” said with a poker face is about as positive a reaction as I’d ever anticipate seeing.
You and Eugine seem to be talking past one another;
He’s saying that society tends to see it as (at worst) a bit of a faux pas for a gay man to try to get a straight to switch teams whereas a gay converter is one step off from an SS officer in terms of the hatred they get.
You, on the other hand, seem to be talking about how annoyed straight guys get when being harassed by gays trying to convert them, and presumably vice versa. That people get pissed off, with good reason, when people try to dictate terms to them on whom they desire.
Oddly enough, both of you are right. It is much more acceptable for gay men to be “straight chasers” and try to get straight guys to “come out” than it is for Christians to be “deconverters” and try to get gay guys to “find Jesus,” at least everywhere I’ve lived (admittedly, my favorite cities tend to be pretty deep blue). People confronted with this kind of obnoxious behavior don’t appreciate it in either case, but the straight guy has to be a lot more careful not to say anything “offensive” to the guy grabbing him (God forbid throwing a punch) than the gay guy who can tell the pastor to go to hell and walk off with the full force of the law / media behind him.
There seems to be a pretty big asymmetry here that you’re ignoring. Christian “deconverters” aren’t simply saying “Hey, why don’t you try straight sex? You might end up enjoying it.” They’re saying “There is something deeply wrong with your sexual orientation and you will suffer eternally unless you sincerely attempt to change it.” I doubt that attempts to convert straight men result in higher rates of depression or suicide among them.
The appropriate analog of the gay “straight chasers” you’re talking about would be a straight woman who attempts to “convert” gay guys by, say, trying to convince them to sleep with her, maybe because she likes the challenge. Do you think such a person would also be seen as one step off from an SS officer?
BTW, IME straight men who manage to convince lesbians to sleep with them usually inspire awe, not disgust. (I can’t think of any concrete examples of the gender-reversed situation, which you described.)
Actually he said it is “considered commendable”, but I see your point.