I have yet to understand why, when someone is experiencing an overload of emotion, the logical response is not to listen to them until they calm down, and therefore increase the level of logic in the discussion.
Actually, after discussions in this thread, I realized that this is a skill I should develop. (I don’t want to react like this all the time, just to be able to do this when I decide to; and to be aware of the situations where doing this might be the right choice.)
But whether it is the right choice or not, depends on circumstances. For this method to work well, there are a few conditions:
the person will eventually calm down and be able to communicate logically, because the person is not insane;
your listening will make the person calm down, because there are no other people interfering with the process and keeping the person emotionally overloaded (either by opposing the person, or by socially validating their emotional overload);
the person will be there to communicate with after they calm down, they will not go away (in an internet discussion, this is often unpredictable and likely);
you have enough time to be there when the person calms down (also, your patience could be depleted);
the person will not cause significant preventable damage during the emotional overload, in which case your priority could be to prevent or reduce the damage (the damage can include emotional damage for wittnesses of the emotional overload, damage to your reputation, etc.).
The situation is different in real life and on internet, whether you know the person or not, how much and how specifically do other people interfere. (Best circumstances: you know the person, you trust the person to be sane, there is no damage done, it’s just two of you together, and you both have enough time.)
Actually, after discussions in this thread, I realized that this is a skill I should develop. (I don’t want to react like this all the time, just to be able to do this when I decide to; and to be aware of the situations where doing this might be the right choice.)
But whether it is the right choice or not, depends on circumstances. For this method to work well, there are a few conditions:
the person will eventually calm down and be able to communicate logically, because the person is not insane;
your listening will make the person calm down, because there are no other people interfering with the process and keeping the person emotionally overloaded (either by opposing the person, or by socially validating their emotional overload);
the person will be there to communicate with after they calm down, they will not go away (in an internet discussion, this is often unpredictable and likely);
you have enough time to be there when the person calms down (also, your patience could be depleted);
the person will not cause significant preventable damage during the emotional overload, in which case your priority could be to prevent or reduce the damage (the damage can include emotional damage for wittnesses of the emotional overload, damage to your reputation, etc.).
The situation is different in real life and on internet, whether you know the person or not, how much and how specifically do other people interfere. (Best circumstances: you know the person, you trust the person to be sane, there is no damage done, it’s just two of you together, and you both have enough time.)