the predators are REALLY GOOD at telling the schlubs that the feminists are out to get them, and egging the schlubs into making themselves obvious targets (i.e.: the PUA community).
The notion that “the PUA community” has anything predatory about it is a persistent misconception. On the contrary, widespread adoption of the kind of sexual scripts PUA has pioneered is the only way I can see of making enthusiastic consent into a sustainable social norm. Otherwise males will gradually erode the norm as a way of asserting/signaling dominance in a cheap, straightforward way—and many women might go along with the erosion for the most part, simply due to being attracted to a dominant attitude. Note that aspiring PUAs would not do this, because they have superior alternatives. (It would also be a huge strategic liability, when one considers the way PUA works overall)
PUAs do teach aggressive touch escalation, less talking more body language. Don’t ask to kiss her, kiss her. That kind of thing.
An important part of PUA teaching is getting over feelings of guilt for your sexual feelings, which alphas and guys that are confident with women don’t display.
PUAs do teach aggressive touch escalation, less talking more body language. Don’t ask to kiss her, kiss her. That kind of thing.
To the extent that this happens, it is an efficient adaptation to prevailing norms: the escalation is not “spontaneous” at all—although that’s obviously a desired effect—but is carefully calibrated to minimize ‘regret’ (to the extent that this is possible based on prevailing signals). PUA also teaches other techniques that balance out active escalation (“push-pull”, “freeze-out”). We’re talking about a very broad toolkit which can adapt to a variety of scenarios.
I do agree that on net, guys into PUA are decent well meaning human beings. When I think about it from “what would I do if I were a predator” perspective, I do get the answer that learning from and trying to influence the PUA community would be a fabulous idea with many potential upsides.
I would guess that unless there is a lot of active effort to keep guys who enjoy partaking in predatory behavior out, if we assume that such men exist, I would think that there would be some active ones in the PUA community.
I would guess that unless there is a lot of active effort to keep guys who enjoy partaking in predatory behavior out, if we assume that such men exist, I would think that there would be some active ones in the PUA community.
Sure. If 6% of men are rapists in the general population, then I would expect 6% of PUA men to be rapists too, unless there was something actively selecting for or against rapists in the PUA set. That’s just the base rate; it’s no different from expecting 6% of men named “John” to be rapists.
The notion that “the PUA community” has anything predatory about it is a persistent misconception. On the contrary, widespread adoption of the kind of sexual scripts PUA has pioneered is the only way I can see of making enthusiastic consent into a sustainable social norm. Otherwise males will gradually erode the norm as a way of asserting/signaling dominance in a cheap, straightforward way—and many women might go along with the erosion for the most part, simply due to being attracted to a dominant attitude. Note that aspiring PUAs would not do this, because they have superior alternatives. (It would also be a huge strategic liability, when one considers the way PUA works overall)
PUAs do teach aggressive touch escalation, less talking more body language. Don’t ask to kiss her, kiss her. That kind of thing.
An important part of PUA teaching is getting over feelings of guilt for your sexual feelings, which alphas and guys that are confident with women don’t display.
To the extent that this happens, it is an efficient adaptation to prevailing norms: the escalation is not “spontaneous” at all—although that’s obviously a desired effect—but is carefully calibrated to minimize ‘regret’ (to the extent that this is possible based on prevailing signals). PUA also teaches other techniques that balance out active escalation (“push-pull”, “freeze-out”). We’re talking about a very broad toolkit which can adapt to a variety of scenarios.
Non-verbal communication is still communication.
I do agree that on net, guys into PUA are decent well meaning human beings. When I think about it from “what would I do if I were a predator” perspective, I do get the answer that learning from and trying to influence the PUA community would be a fabulous idea with many potential upsides.
I would guess that unless there is a lot of active effort to keep guys who enjoy partaking in predatory behavior out, if we assume that such men exist, I would think that there would be some active ones in the PUA community.
Sure. If 6% of men are rapists in the general population, then I would expect 6% of PUA men to be rapists too, unless there was something actively selecting for or against rapists in the PUA set. That’s just the base rate; it’s no different from expecting 6% of men named “John” to be rapists.