That makes changing policy well especially difficult—you have to really consider what is being said and not take anything at face value in public discussion about rape and other such topics.
One quick objection here: I think we absolutely have to take everything that is said at face value, AND ALSO examine the underlying subtext. This is part of what makes it so tricky.
Example: When someone says “but I respect women!”, take that at face value, and assume that they actually DO have a legitimate desire to respect women; they are just confused as to how. Use that to adjust your tactic when dealing with this person, and frame your debate with them in terms of “this is how to show your respect; the way you’re doing it now isn’t working” rather than “you are bad and you don’t actually respect women at all”. If you take that at face value and they don’t act in accordance with it, of course, call them on it.
Example: When someone says, “but she was asking for it!”, take that at face value, and assume that in their warped narrative they actually DO believe that consent was given, if not implied. Use that to adjust your tactic when dealing with this person, and frame your debate with them in terms of “this is why consent needs to be enthusiastic, and these are the failure modes of your approach” rather than “you are a filthy rapist!”. If you take that at face value and they don’t act in accordance with it, of course, call them on it.
Example: When someone says, “bros before hoes”, take that at face value, and assume that they are explicitly identifying who they wish to ally with. Use that to focus your hostility here, at the root of the issue, rather than attacking the epiphenomena “but she was asking for it!” and “but I respect women!” Because in the first two cases, taking them at face value (at least at first) gives you an opportunity to identify potential allies who are stuck behind enemy lines, AND gives you an opportunity to call people out on their bullshit far better than going in guns blazing.
That’s… about as much insight as I have, and it’s of course subject to all the usual disclaimers; we’re all stuck in this together and we’re all seeing it from different perspectives.
One quick objection here: I think we absolutely have to take everything that is said at face value, AND ALSO examine the underlying subtext. This is part of what makes it so tricky.
Example: When someone says “but I respect women!”, take that at face value, and assume that they actually DO have a legitimate desire to respect women; they are just confused as to how. Use that to adjust your tactic when dealing with this person, and frame your debate with them in terms of “this is how to show your respect; the way you’re doing it now isn’t working” rather than “you are bad and you don’t actually respect women at all”. If you take that at face value and they don’t act in accordance with it, of course, call them on it.
Example: When someone says, “but she was asking for it!”, take that at face value, and assume that in their warped narrative they actually DO believe that consent was given, if not implied. Use that to adjust your tactic when dealing with this person, and frame your debate with them in terms of “this is why consent needs to be enthusiastic, and these are the failure modes of your approach” rather than “you are a filthy rapist!”. If you take that at face value and they don’t act in accordance with it, of course, call them on it.
Example: When someone says, “bros before hoes”, take that at face value, and assume that they are explicitly identifying who they wish to ally with. Use that to focus your hostility here, at the root of the issue, rather than attacking the epiphenomena “but she was asking for it!” and “but I respect women!” Because in the first two cases, taking them at face value (at least at first) gives you an opportunity to identify potential allies who are stuck behind enemy lines, AND gives you an opportunity to call people out on their bullshit far better than going in guns blazing.
That’s… about as much insight as I have, and it’s of course subject to all the usual disclaimers; we’re all stuck in this together and we’re all seeing it from different perspectives.
Fair point, thanks.