Oh, right, Senjōgahara. I’ve got a great story to tell you. It’s about that man who tried to rape you way back when. He was hit by a car and died in a place with no connection to you, in an event with no connection to you. Without any drama at all. [...] That’s the lesson for you here: You shouldn’t expect your life to be like the theater.
-- Kaiki Deishū, Episode 7 of Nisemonogatari.