Sorry for such a late response, life really picked up this month in many amazing and wondrous ways and I found myself lacking the time or desire to respond. Now things have lulled back, and I would like to address your, and all the other responses to my ideas.
Stop playing what game? …As for the latter, I’m not sure I understand what “deciding to stop playing” at social relations would mean.
When I say game I am referring to a board game, a social game, a dream, really any desired outcome. Social status is a type of game, and it was the one I thought provided the most powerful analogy, but it is not the overall point. The overall point is the social harmony you speak of. You say that in your opinion,
In a harmonious group, no one feels neglected, and everyone enjoys themselves...
I agree with this definition of harmony. The idea I am trying to express goes beyond the poor social skills you are assuming I am attributing to this “nerdy community” (which I am not). Beyond individually motivated goals, I am suggesting that for no one to feel neglected and everyone to enjoy themselves it is necessary for the actor to stop trying to achieve any goal.
The pursuit of any one goal-orientation automatically excludes all other potential goal-orientations. If you have an idea of what is funny, what is cool, in attempting to actualize these ideas you are excluding all other possible interpretations of them.
For no one to feel neglected and everyone to truly enjoy themselves, then everyone’s ideas of happiness, security, camaraderie, humor, etc must be met. My idea is somewhat similar to Hinesburg’s uncertainty principle, in that your intentionally makes the goal you desire unattainable. Does this make sense?
for no one to feel neglected and everyone to enjoy themselves it is necessary for the actor to stop trying to achieve any goal.
Do you mean that the person in question has to just sit back and relax? That they have to stop trying to steer the direction of the conversation and just let it flow? Or that they have to focus on other people’s enjoyment rather than their own enjoyment? The former doesn’t feel true for me, in that having someone with good social skills and an idea of people’s interests steer the conversation can make it more enjoyable rather than less so. The latter, maybe true, but I wouldn’t want to live like that.
Sorry for such a late response, life really picked up this month in many amazing and wondrous ways and I found myself lacking the time or desire to respond. Now things have lulled back, and I would like to address your, and all the other responses to my ideas.
When I say game I am referring to a board game, a social game, a dream, really any desired outcome. Social status is a type of game, and it was the one I thought provided the most powerful analogy, but it is not the overall point. The overall point is the social harmony you speak of. You say that in your opinion,
I agree with this definition of harmony. The idea I am trying to express goes beyond the poor social skills you are assuming I am attributing to this “nerdy community” (which I am not). Beyond individually motivated goals, I am suggesting that for no one to feel neglected and everyone to enjoy themselves it is necessary for the actor to stop trying to achieve any goal. The pursuit of any one goal-orientation automatically excludes all other potential goal-orientations. If you have an idea of what is funny, what is cool, in attempting to actualize these ideas you are excluding all other possible interpretations of them. For no one to feel neglected and everyone to truly enjoy themselves, then everyone’s ideas of happiness, security, camaraderie, humor, etc must be met. My idea is somewhat similar to Hinesburg’s uncertainty principle, in that your intentionally makes the goal you desire unattainable. Does this make sense?
Do you mean that the person in question has to just sit back and relax? That they have to stop trying to steer the direction of the conversation and just let it flow? Or that they have to focus on other people’s enjoyment rather than their own enjoyment? The former doesn’t feel true for me, in that having someone with good social skills and an idea of people’s interests steer the conversation can make it more enjoyable rather than less so. The latter, maybe true, but I wouldn’t want to live like that.