Most people aren’t confused, because they’re not trying to be clear and rational.
It is used to mean a very wide range of positive feelings, and should generally be taken as poetry rather than communication.
Are you saying that most people only use term love as “poetry” and never when they are trying to be clear? I think this is a strong over-generalization.
Of course people are not always trying to be clear, but the concept of love also appears often when people are doing their best to be clear. In my experience, people will often say things like “is that really love?” and “that’s not true love”.
When trying to be clear, people will double down and keep talking about love. They will semi-silently insist on their unspoken intuition about what it means instead of stepping back and trying to clearly define their terms.
This kind of confusion is not unique to love, of course. But IMO it happens much more often than people realize.
I think most people have a different conception of what “trying to be clear” means than I do. They can talk abut true love or what’s “really” love, but the very few who actually try to get an operational definition across usually start by tabooing “love” when trying to communicate specific beliefs and experiences (though still using it in more casual, romantic, or poetic settings).
I recommend this as a technique when trying to draw out clarity from someone as well. Don’t make them define terms, most people aren’t great at the activity of generalizing and re-specifying that language is built on. Instead, ask them do describe what they mean in this context, by asking for statements that do not use “love”.
Note: this rarely leads to kissing. If that’s your goal, I’d advise to delay semantic exploration for another time.
Are you saying that most people only use term love as “poetry” and never when they are trying to be clear? I think this is a strong over-generalization.
Of course people are not always trying to be clear, but the concept of love also appears often when people are doing their best to be clear. In my experience, people will often say things like “is that really love?” and “that’s not true love”.
When trying to be clear, people will double down and keep talking about love. They will semi-silently insist on their unspoken intuition about what it means instead of stepping back and trying to clearly define their terms.
This kind of confusion is not unique to love, of course. But IMO it happens much more often than people realize.
I think most people have a different conception of what “trying to be clear” means than I do. They can talk abut true love or what’s “really” love, but the very few who actually try to get an operational definition across usually start by tabooing “love” when trying to communicate specific beliefs and experiences (though still using it in more casual, romantic, or poetic settings).
I recommend this as a technique when trying to draw out clarity from someone as well. Don’t make them define terms, most people aren’t great at the activity of generalizing and re-specifying that language is built on. Instead, ask them do describe what they mean in this context, by asking for statements that do not use “love”.
Note: this rarely leads to kissing. If that’s your goal, I’d advise to delay semantic exploration for another time.