The core is empathy… you have to show that you genuinely accept and make space for the other persons idea and emotions, it’s the mindset behind the strategy of active-listening. If you simply use the strategy of “so you’re saying that” without genuinely trying to understand the other person, it comes off as straw-manning. Similarly, if you are telling someone else what their emotions are, instead of making space for their emotion, it comes off as judgmental.
I think something else you’re getting at here is that this is something that’s very hard to do with a stranger over the internet—the requisite body language, rapport, voice tone etc all get lost (and therefore more useful in most real-world cases of trying to change someone’s mind)
Edit: one final thought on this is that active listening isn’t much used in debate. It’s much more useful for dialouge and rapport building than trying to convince someone with facts.
The core is empathy… you have to show that you genuinely accept and make space for the other persons idea and emotions, it’s the mindset behind the strategy of active-listening. If you simply use the strategy of “so you’re saying that” without genuinely trying to understand the other person, it comes off as straw-manning. Similarly, if you are telling someone else what their emotions are, instead of making space for their emotion, it comes off as judgmental.
I think something else you’re getting at here is that this is something that’s very hard to do with a stranger over the internet—the requisite body language, rapport, voice tone etc all get lost (and therefore more useful in most real-world cases of trying to change someone’s mind)
Edit: one final thought on this is that active listening isn’t much used in debate. It’s much more useful for dialouge and rapport building than trying to convince someone with facts.