Great technique. I’m confused about why you wrote the article in your old style of “debate around” instead of your new style of “say it like it is”. Since that’s what you want to promote. What would this article look like in the new style?
I’m not actually asking for people to do a thing for me, at this point. I think the closest to a request I have here is “please discuss the general topic and help me think about how to apply or fix these thoughts.”
I don’t think all communication is about requests (that’s a kind of straw-NVC) only that when you are making a request it’s often easier to get what you want by asking than by indirectly pressuring.
Start with the request—don’t build the argument case. If necessary, come back with layers of consideration, validation, justification. Explain in detail, expound considerations and concerns. But start with the request and trust the other party to listen to your request or seek justification if they need it.
Great technique. I’m confused about why you wrote the article in your old style of “debate around” instead of your new style of “say it like it is”. Since that’s what you want to promote. What would this article look like in the new style?
I’m not actually asking for people to do a thing for me, at this point. I think the closest to a request I have here is “please discuss the general topic and help me think about how to apply or fix these thoughts.”
I don’t think all communication is about requests (that’s a kind of straw-NVC) only that when you are making a request it’s often easier to get what you want by asking than by indirectly pressuring.
The salient part for me in your post was:
Start with the request—don’t build the argument case. If necessary, come back with layers of consideration, validation, justification. Explain in detail, expound considerations and concerns. But start with the request and trust the other party to listen to your request or seek justification if they need it.
Trust is hard. But I’m in support of your post.
This recent comment of mine seems relevant.
I think this post in combination with your comment has changed my mind about this issue significantly.