Focus on a new frame of reference, not on technique. Clients need to shift away from content—“it’s about my heart/ my debt/ the safety of the plane/ germs”—and toward the very best strategies to recover from their anxiety disorder. These strategies will always address the intentions that currently motivate their actions. Most decisions by anxious clients have two functions:
1) to only take actions that have a highly predictable, positive outcome
2) to stay comfortable
And that makes sense. Everyone seeks comfort. And everyone wants to feel confident about certain outcomes. Most people who experience traumatic events—a near drowning, a panic that resembles a heart attack, blanking out in the middle of a conference presentation—initially react by seeking comfort, safety, and reassurance. So persuading clients to change must include a convincing explanation that their solution to the problem—avoiding and resisting, and seeking comfort and certainty—perpetuates their problem. Anything that is resisted will persist; therefore, the best perspective is a paradoxical one: When facing a problem, one must purposely and voluntarily choose to go toward uncertainty and distress.
-Reid Wilson