You guys should keep in mind the nature of the disagreement results. You don’t have to go through all these details to reach agreement. The mere fact that each of you holds to his view even in light of the full knowledge that the other not only disagrees, but disagrees knowing that your own position is very different, should send you a message that you are very possibly—one might even say very probably—wrong. You can reach agreement very quickly once you acknowledge this fact. I hope you are both willing at least to say that the other’s contrary stance tells you that there is a good likelihood that you are wrong.
Now, the procedure you are following, of laying out your arguments and premises and thinking processes, is likely to lead to a higher quality agreement than merely agreeing to agree. But there’s no reason you can’t agree first, and then mutually explore the issues second. Agreement does not have to be the end point of the discussion—I think that is something which Robin has emphasized many times.
The only explanation I can see for your having failed to agree is that you each suspect that the other is being irrational. It might be impolite, but if that is your reason, perhaps you could be open about those judgements and make progress from there. Or if there is some other reason why the other person’s stubbornness is not as convincing as it should be, it might help to explain why. But I don’t see much point in continuing to go over the reasons for your beliefs; those are irrelevant. The mere fact of contrary belief held by a rational individual should be enough.
You guys should keep in mind the nature of the disagreement results. You don’t have to go through all these details to reach agreement. The mere fact that each of you holds to his view even in light of the full knowledge that the other not only disagrees, but disagrees knowing that your own position is very different, should send you a message that you are very possibly—one might even say very probably—wrong. You can reach agreement very quickly once you acknowledge this fact. I hope you are both willing at least to say that the other’s contrary stance tells you that there is a good likelihood that you are wrong.
Now, the procedure you are following, of laying out your arguments and premises and thinking processes, is likely to lead to a higher quality agreement than merely agreeing to agree. But there’s no reason you can’t agree first, and then mutually explore the issues second. Agreement does not have to be the end point of the discussion—I think that is something which Robin has emphasized many times.
The only explanation I can see for your having failed to agree is that you each suspect that the other is being irrational. It might be impolite, but if that is your reason, perhaps you could be open about those judgements and make progress from there. Or if there is some other reason why the other person’s stubbornness is not as convincing as it should be, it might help to explain why. But I don’t see much point in continuing to go over the reasons for your beliefs; those are irrelevant. The mere fact of contrary belief held by a rational individual should be enough.