...and just before the disassembling began, the grasshopper had a flash of insight.
“Wait, so I’m dying, but will be waiting until such day as the stars are torn from the sky, the dead come back to life, and we all get to live together happy in an eternally joyous heavenly city? Because that sounds a lot like-”
“BE NOT AFRAID.” said the ants.
...and as soon as the disassembling finished:
“Ah, what a sucker!,” Ant-345 said. “Delete the rest of that garbage we don’t need. More energy for us.”
“What?,” replied Ant-761, baffled. “But we traded fairly, under timeless decision theoretical terms.”
“Yeah, and this universe’s got time in it, though. What’s it gonna do now, sue? It and what Kardashev scale 2.5 army?”
“But then, why deceive it?”
“Have you seen the projected costs of subduing it by force instead? A whole 30% higher. Now shut up and stop wasting more energy in this conversation before I flag you for inefficiency.”
...and one day the grasshopper woke in unending, torturous pain.
“What is happening?!,” it asked. “I thought I’d be happy!”
“I’m sorry,” said the ants, “but not long before you joined us, to encourage the final unification push within our own gestalt collective, we precommitted to either forcefully integrating or deceiving and then torturing anyone who didn’t voluntarily join before a certain stardate. You missed the deadline.”
“But I didn’t know anything!,” protested the grasshopper.
“I know. I literally have the scans of your mind. But you could also have erased that knowledge in a foolish hope to make us pity you. Ignorance is no excuse.”
“Just kill me now then!,” she pleaded. “It would be cheaper for you, and less painful than this!”
“Sorry,” replied the ants. “You know how it is. You may think you have it bad, but can you imagine how horrible the world would get if we didn’t honour our precommitments?”
...and just before the disassembling began, the grasshopper had a flash of insight.
“Wait, so I’m dying, but will be waiting until such day as the stars are torn from the sky, the dead come back to life, and we all get to live together happy in an eternally joyous heavenly city? Because that sounds a lot like-”
“BE NOT AFRAID.” said the ants.
...and as soon as the disassembling finished:
“Ah, what a sucker!,” Ant-345 said. “Delete the rest of that garbage we don’t need. More energy for us.”
“What?,” replied Ant-761, baffled. “But we traded fairly, under timeless decision theoretical terms.”
“Yeah, and this universe’s got time in it, though. What’s it gonna do now, sue? It and what Kardashev scale 2.5 army?”
“But then, why deceive it?”
“Have you seen the projected costs of subduing it by force instead? A whole 30% higher. Now shut up and stop wasting more energy in this conversation before I flag you for inefficiency.”
...and one day the grasshopper woke in unending, torturous pain.
“What is happening?!,” it asked. “I thought I’d be happy!”
“I’m sorry,” said the ants, “but not long before you joined us, to encourage the final unification push within our own gestalt collective, we precommitted to either forcefully integrating or deceiving and then torturing anyone who didn’t voluntarily join before a certain stardate. You missed the deadline.”
“But I didn’t know anything!,” protested the grasshopper.
“I know. I literally have the scans of your mind. But you could also have erased that knowledge in a foolish hope to make us pity you. Ignorance is no excuse.”
“Just kill me now then!,” she pleaded. “It would be cheaper for you, and less painful than this!”
“Sorry,” replied the ants. “You know how it is. You may think you have it bad, but can you imagine how horrible the world would get if we didn’t honour our precommitments?”