Since this dispute began, I have been trying to be more analytical in my reactions to comments—trying to determine what it is about them, in style or content, that I like.
I liked this comment, and upvoted it, partly because of its well-chosen counter-illustration, but also for reasons of style. It is relatively blunt, but the padding that it carries has a nice “rationalist” flavor. “I’d … want to see … numbers … before presuming …”. “This comes across as …” rather than simply “This is …”.
But in the course of making this analysis, it occurred to me that I am conducting the analysis as a bystander, rather than as the direct recipient of this feedback. I’m living in a forum where everything I write is perused by one recipient and ten bystanders. I know that the reaction of the recipient (and my reaction when I am in the recipient’s role) will be witnessed by these ubiquitous bystanders. The bystanders will judge—vote responses up or down. One reason we communicate differently here is that we are playing to an audience—not just conducting one-to-one communication.
You (David_Gerard) keep pointing out that we LessWrong denizens can cheerfully “dish out” bluntness, but we are not so happy about receiving it. True enough, but also a rather shallow observation. Surely, the ability to receive criticism without taking offense is a life skill every bit as important as the ability to dispense criticism without giving offense. One virtue of the culture of observed blunt communication that we cultivate here is that we get plenty of practice at receiving criticism, plus plenty of negative feedback if we respond by taking offense.
This may sound like more rationalization, but it is not. This environment has helped me to improve my own ability to “take coaching”, though I know I have a long way to go. Unfortunately, and this is the point you and Lionhearted have been consistently making, operating in this culture does not provide useful practice and feedback on the other important life-skill—offering criticism or correction without giving offense.
I liked this comment, and upvoted it, partly because of its well-chosen counter-illustration, but also for reasons of style. It is relatively blunt, but the padding that it carries has a nice “rationalist” flavor. “I’d … want to see … numbers … before presuming …”. “This comes across as …” rather than simply “This is …”.
You have correctly reverse-engineered how I wrote it ;-)
One virtue of the culture of observed blunt communication that we cultivate here is that we get plenty of practice at receiving criticism, plus plenty of negative feedback if we respond by taking offense.
I really don’t see it as a very blunt culture. (I suppose I should stress this more.) A frequently difficult one, but not blunt. Most comments are thoughtful and the commenters take due care. Some are indeed blunt to the point of rudeness, and you’ll see their good but blunt comments get lots of upvotes for content and downvotes for tone.
Since this dispute began, I have been trying to be more analytical in my reactions to comments—trying to determine what it is about them, in style or content, that I like.
I liked this comment, and upvoted it, partly because of its well-chosen counter-illustration, but also for reasons of style. It is relatively blunt, but the padding that it carries has a nice “rationalist” flavor. “I’d … want to see … numbers … before presuming …”. “This comes across as …” rather than simply “This is …”.
But in the course of making this analysis, it occurred to me that I am conducting the analysis as a bystander, rather than as the direct recipient of this feedback. I’m living in a forum where everything I write is perused by one recipient and ten bystanders. I know that the reaction of the recipient (and my reaction when I am in the recipient’s role) will be witnessed by these ubiquitous bystanders. The bystanders will judge—vote responses up or down. One reason we communicate differently here is that we are playing to an audience—not just conducting one-to-one communication.
You (David_Gerard) keep pointing out that we LessWrong denizens can cheerfully “dish out” bluntness, but we are not so happy about receiving it. True enough, but also a rather shallow observation. Surely, the ability to receive criticism without taking offense is a life skill every bit as important as the ability to dispense criticism without giving offense. One virtue of the culture of observed blunt communication that we cultivate here is that we get plenty of practice at receiving criticism, plus plenty of negative feedback if we respond by taking offense.
This may sound like more rationalization, but it is not. This environment has helped me to improve my own ability to “take coaching”, though I know I have a long way to go. Unfortunately, and this is the point you and Lionhearted have been consistently making, operating in this culture does not provide useful practice and feedback on the other important life-skill—offering criticism or correction without giving offense.
You have correctly reverse-engineered how I wrote it ;-)
I really don’t see it as a very blunt culture. (I suppose I should stress this more.) A frequently difficult one, but not blunt. Most comments are thoughtful and the commenters take due care. Some are indeed blunt to the point of rudeness, and you’ll see their good but blunt comments get lots of upvotes for content and downvotes for tone.