If Lily (6y) comes to me and says “Anna (4y) pushed me,”
I’m curious how this has developed. With my boys, there were a lot of fights. The typical reaction is not to go away and complain but mostly to fight back. And that can mean bruises. And whatever rules we discussed and agreed on got tested to the limit. The only rule I have mostly been able to get buy-in for was: “The head is taboo.” Explaining that being the only part that can’t be repaired. However, even that got challenged with pillows and touching.
The kids will often ask for help while I’m cooking.
And will want to cook. A 7-year-old to make pancakes, fry sausages, warm up leftovers, or use a timer to get pizza out of the oven in time. Before that, they can help themselves with cold dishes.
We noticed that Anna kept giving or trading things to Lily, and then regretting it.
We also made sure that certain transactions are OKed by parents or adults—specifically bets. Real money bets.
About a year ago I brought Lily to an amusement park. … I declined, expecting Lily would be too shy, but Lily went up, explained the situation, and asked if they would go with her.
A good rule is to let them decide whom to talk to. We told them that people in uniform are generally a good idea.
One time we couldn’t find Lily.
Been there. A surprising number of times, it turns out they went to sleep in unexpected places.
When they get older, they may get so frustrated with their parents that they want to leave the house. That is also a step to independence—to learn that it is not very comfortable outside alone. One of my boys (12 maybe) packed and left the house. It was already dark. The things he packed included a survival box he had built earlier but no tent. He camped between some bushes next to a garage. No risks; we live in a safe neighborhood. Things calmed down, we talked, and he came back.
Lily asked me if she could cut her own hair, and I explained that kids who cut their own hair generally end up with hair they’re unhappy with.
I have seen self-cut hair. I agree that it causes less discussion with boys. Rather the opposite applies: May they grow the hair long? One does. It caused some debate among us parents.
I told her that if she left the trike it would be available for anyone to take. And that I would probably take it, but it would then be my trike. She decided to ride her trike home.
My principle is honesty, and I wouldn’t have said that anybody can take it. But I would have accepted that they leave it there—at the risk of anybody taking it. I don’t remember a single time anything was left but it has been close.
I know it’s been a while...
I’m curious how this has developed. With my boys, there were a lot of fights. The typical reaction is not to go away and complain but mostly to fight back. And that can mean bruises. And whatever rules we discussed and agreed on got tested to the limit. The only rule I have mostly been able to get buy-in for was: “The head is taboo.” Explaining that being the only part that can’t be repaired. However, even that got challenged with pillows and touching.
And will want to cook. A 7-year-old to make pancakes, fry sausages, warm up leftovers, or use a timer to get pizza out of the oven in time. Before that, they can help themselves with cold dishes.
We also made sure that certain transactions are OKed by parents or adults—specifically bets. Real money bets.
A good rule is to let them decide whom to talk to. We told them that people in uniform are generally a good idea.
Been there. A surprising number of times, it turns out they went to sleep in unexpected places.
When they get older, they may get so frustrated with their parents that they want to leave the house. That is also a step to independence—to learn that it is not very comfortable outside alone. One of my boys (12 maybe) packed and left the house. It was already dark. The things he packed included a survival box he had built earlier but no tent. He camped between some bushes next to a garage. No risks; we live in a safe neighborhood. Things calmed down, we talked, and he came back.
I have seen self-cut hair. I agree that it causes less discussion with boys. Rather the opposite applies: May they grow the hair long? One does. It caused some debate among us parents.
My principle is honesty, and I wouldn’t have said that anybody can take it. But I would have accepted that they leave it there—at the risk of anybody taking it. I don’t remember a single time anything was left but it has been close.