I think that some of these cases can only be solved by having more than 2 kids on average. I mean, depending on circumstances, there can be more of fewer mental illnesses, more of fewer people who decide to be childless, et cetera, but it is definitely not realistic that the number will be literally zero. So if everyone assumes that having more than 2 kids is somehow weird, then in long term the society dies out, it’s just a question of sooner or later. (And I am saying this as a person who has 2 kids. Spent too much time finding the right partner.) On the other hand, if people had 3 or more kids on average, we could have 1⁄3 of people remain childless, for whatever reason, and the population would go on. People probably don’t realize, if they only have 1 child, how much pressure they put on it: if the child won’t have kids for any reason, their genetic line just went extinct.
I find it ironic how both carelessness (“carpe diem, there will always be more time to have kids”) and carefulness (“it would be irresponsible to have children before I have my own house, a reliable partner, and plenty of savings”) can in practice lead to the same result.
People also don’t realize, until it is too late, how the dating market changes over time. The attractive partners who are interested in having a family are taken out of the dating market first, because if you want to start a big family and you are attractive, nothing prevents you from doing it right after university. So when you are approaching 40, people who are unattractive, problematic, don’t want to have children, or are already divorced with children are over-represented at the dating market.
I think that some of these cases can only be solved by having more than 2 kids on average. I mean, depending on circumstances, there can be more of fewer mental illnesses, more of fewer people who decide to be childless, et cetera, but it is definitely not realistic that the number will be literally zero. So if everyone assumes that having more than 2 kids is somehow weird, then in long term the society dies out, it’s just a question of sooner or later. (And I am saying this as a person who has 2 kids. Spent too much time finding the right partner.) On the other hand, if people had 3 or more kids on average, we could have 1⁄3 of people remain childless, for whatever reason, and the population would go on. People probably don’t realize, if they only have 1 child, how much pressure they put on it: if the child won’t have kids for any reason, their genetic line just went extinct.
I find it ironic how both carelessness (“carpe diem, there will always be more time to have kids”) and carefulness (“it would be irresponsible to have children before I have my own house, a reliable partner, and plenty of savings”) can in practice lead to the same result.
People also don’t realize, until it is too late, how the dating market changes over time. The attractive partners who are interested in having a family are taken out of the dating market first, because if you want to start a big family and you are attractive, nothing prevents you from doing it right after university. So when you are approaching 40, people who are unattractive, problematic, don’t want to have children, or are already divorced with children are over-represented at the dating market.