Attention:
Eliezer Yudkowsky
Machine Intelligence Research Institute
Sir, you will doubtlessly be astonished to be receiving a letter from a species unknown to you, who is about to ask a favor from you.
As fifth rectified knigget of my underclan’s overhive, I have recently come into possession of an ancient Andromedan passkey, guaranteeing the owner access to no less than 2^419 intergalactic credits. My own species is a trans-cladistic harmonic agglomerate and therefore does not satisfy the anghyfieithadwy of Andromedan culture-law, which stipulates that the titular beneficiary of the passkey (who has first claim on half the credits) must be a natural sophont species. However, we have inherited a trust relationship with a Voolhari Legacy adjudication system, in the vicinity of what you know as the Orion OB1 association, and we have verified that your species is the nearest natural sophont with the technical capacity and cognitive inclinations needed to be our partners in this venture. In order to earn your share of this account, your species should beam by radio telescope its genome, cultural history, and at least two hundred (200) characteristic high-resolution brain maps, to:
Right Ascension 05h 55m 10.3053s, Declination +07° 24′ 25.426″
The Voolhari adjudicator will then process and ratify your source code, facilitating the clemnestration of the passkey’s paramancy. The adjudicator has already been notified to expect your transmission.
Please note that, due to the nearby presence of several aging supergiant stars, the adjudicator will most likely be destroyed via supernova within one galactic day (equalling approximately 610,000 Earth years), so this must be done urgently. Please maintain the transmission until we notify you that the clemnestration is complete. Also, again according to Andromedan anghyfieithadwy, the passkey will be invalidated if the beneficiary species becomes postbiological. We therefore request that you halt all technological progress for the duration of the transmission, unless it directly aids the maintenance of the radio signal.
Certain of your epistemologists may be skeptical of our veracity. If the passkey claimed access to 2^(2^419) credits, we would share this skepticism and suspect a Circinian scam. However, a single round of Arcturan Jeopardy easily produces events with a probability of less than 1 in 2^419; therefore, we consider it irrational to doubt our good luck in this case.
We look forward to concluding this venture with an outcome of mutual enrichment and satisfaction! Feelers touched to yours, Snooldorp Gastool V, Ensorcelment Overlord, Deneb Octant
I directly state that, for other reasons not related to the a priori pre-sensory exclusion of any act which can yield 2^419 credits, it seems to me likely that most of the sentients receiving such a message will not be dealing with a genuine offer.
From the “Desk” of: Snooldorp Gastool V
Attention: Eliezer Yudkowsky Machine Intelligence Research Institute
Sir, you will doubtlessly be astonished to be receiving a letter from a species unknown to you, who is about to ask a favor from you.
As fifth rectified knigget of my underclan’s overhive, I have recently come into possession of an ancient Andromedan passkey, guaranteeing the owner access to no less than 2^419 intergalactic credits. My own species is a trans-cladistic harmonic agglomerate and therefore does not satisfy the anghyfieithadwy of Andromedan culture-law, which stipulates that the titular beneficiary of the passkey (who has first claim on half the credits) must be a natural sophont species. However, we have inherited a trust relationship with a Voolhari Legacy adjudication system, in the vicinity of what you know as the Orion OB1 association, and we have verified that your species is the nearest natural sophont with the technical capacity and cognitive inclinations needed to be our partners in this venture. In order to earn your share of this account, your species should beam by radio telescope its genome, cultural history, and at least two hundred (200) characteristic high-resolution brain maps, to:
Right Ascension 05h 55m 10.3053s, Declination +07° 24′ 25.426″
The Voolhari adjudicator will then process and ratify your source code, facilitating the clemnestration of the passkey’s paramancy. The adjudicator has already been notified to expect your transmission.
Please note that, due to the nearby presence of several aging supergiant stars, the adjudicator will most likely be destroyed via supernova within one galactic day (equalling approximately 610,000 Earth years), so this must be done urgently. Please maintain the transmission until we notify you that the clemnestration is complete. Also, again according to Andromedan anghyfieithadwy, the passkey will be invalidated if the beneficiary species becomes postbiological. We therefore request that you halt all technological progress for the duration of the transmission, unless it directly aids the maintenance of the radio signal.
Certain of your epistemologists may be skeptical of our veracity. If the passkey claimed access to 2^(2^419) credits, we would share this skepticism and suspect a Circinian scam. However, a single round of Arcturan Jeopardy easily produces events with a probability of less than 1 in 2^419; therefore, we consider it irrational to doubt our good luck in this case.
We look forward to concluding this venture with an outcome of mutual enrichment and satisfaction! Feelers touched to yours, Snooldorp Gastool V, Ensorcelment Overlord, Deneb Octant
I directly state that, for other reasons not related to the a priori pre-sensory exclusion of any act which can yield 2^419 credits, it seems to me likely that most of the sentients receiving such a message will not be dealing with a genuine offer.
Best comment I read all week. Thanks!
OK, that is excellent.